Consolation (Consolation Duet #1)(34)
“Tell me this isn’t wrong,” he says in between kisses.
I grab his face and force him to look at me. I need him to see it in my eyes. I want him to know I’m here with him and only him. “This isn’t wrong.”
He closes his eyes and pulls me against his chest. We hold each other as our breathing comes back to normal. It’s crazy how much he frees me from myself.
“I could stay here forever,” Liam says, breaking the quiet.
“I’d love to see it during the day.”
“One day, sweetheart. Let’s head back to the car before I do something stupid.” Liam releases me and takes my hand and we start to walk back up the path. “I’ve come once during the day, but at night you feel the peace. You can see the light through the black. The stars and the moon remind me that life is short and I need to live each day. My job demands I respect death.”
“Respect death? How can you say that?” I ask with doubt dripping from my voice.
He stops and stands before me. “Without death there is no life.” Liam pauses as if weighing his next words. “When one of us dies, it’s not in vain. We don’t go lightly and if I don’t respect the sacrifice someone made in honor, then what?” Liam asks.
“There’s no respect in death for me. It takes from you. It makes things go dark and gray because there is no solace for the remaining. I’m left here, picking up the pieces of my destroyed life because of death.” I choke on the words as he shifts uncomfortably.
Liam steps forward and I instantly regret my words. “Your life isn’t ruined. It’s altered. Things didn’t go the way you thought, but you have Aarabelle, you have friends who love you, and hopefully you’ll have me. I can never replace him and I never want to. He was my best friend and I’d give anything to have taken his place so you didn’t have to hurt.”
“Liam,” I try to stop him, but he puts his finger to my lips.
“No, I would. I hate seeing you hurt. I hate knowing Aarabelle will grow up not knowing him. I feel guilty getting to touch you, kiss you, and hold you in my arms. But I respect that Aaron saved more lives than we’ll ever know. He gave his life because he was going over there to make sure his team had what they needed. He’s a hero to the men he helped. A patriot. And for that, I respect death.” Liam’s hand presses against my shoulder and he opens the car door.
I don’t speak because I don’t trust myself. I climb in the car and let the weight of his words come down around me.
He was my hero too, and I lost him.
The drive home is quiet as we both feel the emotions settle. There’s a lot to be said, but not tonight. Tonight was our first date, and it doesn’t slip past me that I spent a good majority in memories or tears. I know that if I were with anyone other than Liam, it would’ve been the date from hell.
The car stops in my drive and we sit awkwardly.
“Liam? I know it might not seem like it, but tonight was sincerely special to me.”
He leans over and grins. “You’re special and deserve a night out.”
“I just need time to get there. I want us to keep seeing each other. I want to be . . . well, whatever we are.” I laugh and wring my hands nervously. This is so uncomfortable it’s a little ridiculous.
“We’re friends, Lee. Friends who kiss a lot.”
I smile and let out a shaky breath. “I like kissing you.”
“I’m glad. Now come here and show me just how much.” Liam’s voice is husky with desire.
I shift slightly and give him exactly what he asks for.
“Hey, babe!” Reanell screams as she runs over. “You look amazing.”
“I look like crap,” I reply as I look down at my sweats.
“Yeah, I was being nice. You look like shit.”
Leave it to Reanell to be so sweet.
“You ready for the gym?”
Reanell and I decided we needed to get off our butts since it’s summer, and if I have to get in a bikini, I’d like to not jiggle so much. Even though there’s not an ounce of fat on her five-foot-three frame. She’s the kind of woman people hate to be friends with, naturally skinny even though she eats a bag of chips in one sitting. Has long, dark brown hair that always looks as if she spent hours doing it when she just woke up. But her eyes are most coveted—she has hazel eyes framed with the longest black eyelashes. I want to hate her, but then she opens her mouth and is the kindest person I know, so hating her is impossible.
“Can we go out to lunch after?” she asks as she sits on the couch.
I slap her leg and scoff. “Get up or we’ll never go, and no, we can’t go out to lunch.”
“Ugh,” she groans. “Such a damn killjoy. Okay, let’s go stare at hot men while they work out.”
“You’re impossible,” I laugh and lock the door.
Paige has Aarabelle at the park while I go work out for an hour. I don’t know how I ever survived without her. She’s sweet, nurturing, and Aarabelle loves her. Plus, she’s available every time I call her. I’ve been working from home a little more frequently since that’s a perk Jackson said I have. Being around Aarabelle for the first eight months of her life and then feeling like I never see her anymore has been extremely difficult for me.
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