Consequences(60)

From the moment Tony left the room and Claire read the note, she’d been crying, even in her sleep. Now, opening her puffy eye lids caused pain which added to the ache in her body, head, and heart. She’d never felt more alone and isolated than she did. “Thank you, Catherine, for your concern, but I believe I’ll stay in bed today. I’m not feeling well.” She tried to sound strong, but with the words came more tears. The salt stung her already swollen eyes. Claire wanted to concentrate on Catherine, but her mind wouldn’t stop thinking of Tony and what he’d done. Not wanting Catherine to see her in this condition, Claire rolled her face into her pillow, making her words muffled, “Please leave me alone.”

Catherine didn’t leave. Instead, she sat on the edge of Claire’s bed and tenderly stroked Claire’s hair as her head moved with the sobs. Catherine remained silent and comforted her until the sobs subsided and Claire caught her breath. “Ms. Claire, you’ll feel better if you shower and eat. Please let me help you.” Catherine’s concern and affection reminded Claire of her mother or grandmother; however, she knew if one of them were present, they’d tell her to run—not shower.

Claire didn’t want to eat, shower, or even get out of bed. Her only desire was to be out of his house. At that moment, she didn’t care if it was by car or death—she just wanted out. The feeling of helplessness sat heavily on her chest. She had tried to survive this ordeal. She had even convinced herself she could handle whatever he sent her way. This new situation was too much. He broke her. Since March she maintained her spirit, despite the loss of her body. Yesterday, he took that too. She turned to look Catherine in the eye and asked, “How have you been able to work for him all this time?”

Catherine stopped stroking Claire’s hair and gently took her hand. “Mr. Rawlings is a good man, Ms. Claire. He truly is.”

Claire shook her head as the tears and sobs resumed. “No! No, he isn’t! I’ve never met a more sadistic, cruel, and bad man.” She closed her eyes, enduring the sting of her tears, the pounding in her head, and taste of her runny nose.

Catherine handed Claire a tissue. “Mr. Rawlings hides his feelings with certain behaviors. He’s afraid to face his own emotions, and he uses this dark persona as a cover. It’s not who he truly is. I’ve known him a long time.”

Claire’s words came between whimpers. “Catherine, I can’t.” “I can’t get up.” “I can’t face the staff.” “They all know.” “They’ve all seen me…seen him…I just can’t.”

“No, Ms. Claire, only I have access to view the inside of your room.” Claire pulled her hand away and rolled from her gaze. Catherine reached out to lightly touch her shoulder. “I only use that access to know when to send the staff inside or to check on your safety.” Claire continued to face away from Catherine. “And now, I’m concerned about you. Ms. Claire, please let me help you. It’s a beautiful day outside.” Claire didn’t move. “Would you like your lunch in here or downstairs?”

Claire shook her head. “I don’t want lunch. Thank you for your concern, but I’m too…too…” She turned to face Catherine. “I don’t know what I am!” Her voice trailed away, “I don’t even know who I am…anymore.”

“Ms. Claire, you’re a beautiful, strong woman. That’s what Mr. Rawlings finds so attractive. He’s astounded by your strength and resilience.”

“That isn’t true! He hates strength in anyone but himself. He has to have total control.” Claire replayed scenes from the past that caused her body to shudder.