Consequences(127)

She sat on the edge of the bed, exhaled, and lay back. The coolness of the room combined with the firmness of the bed helped Claire relax. She closed her eyes and hoped the coffee would help her head.

“Eric told me you fell asleep after Emily left the car.” He sat next to her on the bed, stroking her hair.


Claire breathed a sigh of relief—he didn’t seem upset. The tension in her head began to subside. “I’m sorry if that was wrong, but my head hurt so badly, I could hardly focus on Emily.”

“Of course, it’s fine. You’re alone and exhausted. I told you, I don’t want you overdoing. You aren’t 100 percent yet”—he kissed her head—“I spoke to your brother-in-law and moved our reservations back to 8:00 PM. Maybe you should continue your nap for a little while. We don’t need to leave until 7:30 PM.”

Claire thought about it. Dinner wasn’t for another two hours, but she decided a shower would be more beneficial; she’d already had a nap. They talked as Jan knocked on their door and entered with a coffee carafe, cream, and two mugs. She sat them on a table near the windows and inquired if they needed anything else. Learning they didn’t, Jan left.

The open drapes exposed a spectacular view filled with darkness, even though it wasn’t even 6:00 PM. The New York City lights glittered below, evidence of inhabitants racing from place to place. Claire held her mug of coffee, inhaled the rich aroma, and fell silent, mesmerized by the sight. This time of year, with shorter dreary days, had always been a difficult time for her. She loved sunshine; it made her joyful. This year she’d missed most of the autumn sun and now the bleakness of winter was rapidly descending.

To her, dark was contrary to light. Therefore, instead of joy, it brought sorrow. That’s why she liked Atlanta. Standing at the window, looking at a magnificent skyline, and sipping her warm mug of coffee, Claire thought about being sad. Immediately, she began to chastise herself. She should be happy about her wedding and her reunion     with Emily; however, what she really wanted was to be back in Iowa. She didn’t want the pressure of choosing a dress and dealing with Emily’s constant questions. She no longer yearned for the warmth of Atlanta, but she longed for the warmth of her fireplace and lack of pretense.

In the reflection of the tall window, Claire saw Tony approaching. He stood close behind her and put his arms around her waist; she rested her head against his sturdy chest. Tony’s voice sounded soft and affectionate, “What are you thinking about? You seem far away.”

“I don’t want to say. You’ll think I’m ungrateful.” She put her mug down on the table and turned to face him. Tony lifted her eyes to his. “I appreciate honesty above all.” He wasn’t being authoritative—only candid. Looking into her tired eyes he lightly kissed her lips. “And let me decide what I think.”

She continued to hold his gaze. The brown of his eyes that matched the color of her coffee—lightened by cream—gave her strength to be honest. “I want to go home.” His expression changed slightly. She knew he was contemplating her definition of home. “Tony, I want to go back to your home—I want to be back in Iowa.”

He smiled and hugged her. “Why would that make you ungrateful?”

“I loved your surprise—seeing Emily and John has been great, but, things have changed. Emily asks so many questions and seems so dismayed by my life—it feels as though we’re no longer connected. She said I’ve changed—I don’t know—I just know I’d rather be home.”

Tony had released her chin and Claire’s face rested—buried in his chest. The thumping of his heart filled her with security. As she closed her eyes and listened to the steady beat, she couldn’t see his face or his satisfied smile.