Coming Home(36)

“And it’s pissing me off that it’s happening right when you just met this Danny guy. I don’t want you to panic and bail on him because Scott’s messing with your head again.”

“Well, hold on, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. There’s really nothing for me to bail on.”

Despite the fact that Danny had ended the call on New Year’s Day by telling her he’d talk to her later, three days had passed with no word from him. Leah realized that talk to you later was a common farewell, and not necessarily meant to be taken literally, but since it was the first time he ended any conversation with her indicating they’d be speaking again, she couldn’t help but feel hopeful.

And hopeful was dangerous, because it left her wide open for disappointment.

“But if you like him,” Sarah said, “I don’t want you to not pursue it because of Scott dredging up all your old baggage.”

Leah turned to her sister. “Did you just call me an old bag?”

“I’m being serious,” she laughed. “Just promise me that if you like this guy, you’ll go for it, no matter what that dumb ass is doing.”

Leah nodded, bringing her wine glass to her lips. “I honestly don’t know how I feel about him. But if I decide I’m interested…then…I’ll try,” she said before finishing the rest of her wine.

“You will?” Sarah asked excitedly.

She nodded. “If I decide I’m interested,” she clarified once she had swallowed.

Sarah pumped her fist in the air before she hopped off the counter and grabbed the oven mitt, and Leah took a deep breath, blinking up at the ceiling.

The problem was, she had already decided whether or not she was interested.

And the answer terrified her.

Holly and Robyn—and now Sarah—were so convinced that her lingering issues with Scott were preventing her from pursuing Danny, when in reality Scott’s reappearance had nothing to do with her hesitation; what raised a red flag for her was the ridiculously inconsistent behavior she’d seen from Danny since she’d met him almost two weeks ago. He invited her to lunch and seemed to enjoy being with her, only to dismiss her at the end of it. He called her upset and curt over the fact that she’d done something kind for his grandmother, only to be playful and flirty with her on New Year’s Day. Then he told her he’d talk to her soon, but he never called.

She couldn’t allow herself to be that careless, to get involved—for the first time in two years—with someone who was so unpredictable. She’d be uneasy enough about starting a relationship again without the added uncertainty of never knowing what to expect from him. Someone a bit more consistent, someone who could offer her some semblance of stability, that’s what she should be looking for. A nice, smooth transition back into the world of dating.

Yet she couldn’t seem to get him out of her head.

Yes, he was mercurial. Yes, he was difficult to understand. The trouble was, she found herself wanting to understand him. Or at least, to try.

Leah and Sarah ended up eating their lasagna on the couch while flipping through the channels, and just before How I Met Your Mother came on, Sarah brought their dirty dishes into the kitchen and came out with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Americone Dream and two spoons, waving them in invitation. They spent the next half hour with the pint wedged in the cushions between them, battling with their spoons for the chocolate-covered waffle-cone chunks.

It was just after ten by the time she left her sister’s apartment, and after having slept in for most of Christmas vacation, she was definitely feeling the effects of waking up at five thirty again. Leah yawned heavily as she pulled up to the stoplight at the intersection, flipping aimlessly through the radio stations.