Come to Me Quietly(54)

From the corner of my eye, I caught Jared shaking his head. “Nah, I think I’ll just hang out here tonight or maybe go for a ride on my bike or something,” he said.

“What the hell are you talking about? Not a chance. I’ve been looking forward to this party all week. And it’s been so long since we all were together.” Christopher turned to me. “You’re still coming, right?”



It wasn’t really a question. I knew he’d force me into it if I even thought about backing out. “Yeah, I’ll be there. Do you mind if I invite Megan? I haven’t gotten to hang out with her that much lately.”



“Sure, Timothy’s not going to mind.”



I nodded before Christopher returned his attention to Jared, leveling him with a glare that vowed he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Jared casually sipped from his cup. “I don’t really do the party thing.”



“Really?” Christopher asked, completely incredulous. “You do remember I picked you up at a bar?”



Jared smirked and dropped his cup to the counter, that old playfulness filling his eyes when he taunted my brother. “You picked me up at a bar, huh?” he asked, the question packed with innuendo.

There was my friend.

I laughed, and Christopher did, too. “Fuck you, dude.” Christopher pointed at him. “You’re coming.”



Jared chuckled mildly, then sobered as he stole a glance my direction. I knew he was feeling me out, wondering if I wanted him there or if he’d already hurt me enough that I didn’t want to be anywhere around him.

I offered him an easy smile, one that promised I still would take whatever it was that he would give. And I would. I could be his friend. I could shove all these feelings aside, lock them in that place that had always been reserved for him. Could pretend that I didn’t crave his touch on my face, pretend he hadn’t spoken things that I knew he’d only ever spoken to me, pretend this bond we shared was just an invention of my imagination.

I’d been successful at hiding my feelings for so many years. What had changed?

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at myself.

The change currently sat at the bar in my apartment, his expression guarded but achingly tender at the same time. Could either of us ever forget the connection we’d shaped, one carved out in those perfect hours spent alone in my room?

No. Not me.

But I could pretend.

Resigned, Jared turned back at Christopher. “Fine. I’ll go.”



Warily, he chanced a glance back at me again, his eyes wavering as they fluttered over my face. Then he dropped his gaze back to his half-empty cup.

Was it foolish that I was excited for him to be coming? Foolish that this was the first Fourth I’d looked forward to in all the years he’d been gone because this was the holiday that had always been ours?

I risked lifting my face to find his eyes downcast, his hair flopping down to cover his gorgeous face.

Yeah, I guessed it probably was.



THIRTEEN


July 4, 2002



It was hot. The sun shone down, scorching everything in its path, the sky so bright it hurt to look up. Sweat beaded on Aly’s neck, and she pushed back the bangs stuck to her forehead. For what felt like the millionth time, she jammed the shovel into the hardened dirt, barely making a dent.

“If we’re going to make any jumps, we’re going to need a whole lot more dirt than that, Aly,” Christopher said, frowning at her progress.