Come to Me Quietly(149)

Again I was reeling, because, f*ck, it was just overwhelming. This girl who had leveled my walls, the only one who’d understood, the one who saw right though all my bullshit, had always seen me.

She turned back to me, her voice softening with caution. “After your mom died, I couldn’t draw her anymore. It was like there was this block that wouldn’t let me see. It broke my heart because I wanted to remember her. I guess I thought it would somehow keep her alive, but it wouldn’t come… until that night.” Aly drew in a shaky breath. “But it was all wrong, Jared. I could feel it. It was like I was compelled to draw her face, but she was crying out, and I knew she was crying for you. And I kept drawing and drawing and the same thing kept coming out until I’d worked myself into a complete panic. I had to check to make sure you were okay. I snuck out and ran across to your house. You were supposed to be grounded, so I figured I’d just peek in your window to check on you. But I found it open, and your room was empty.”



Aly squinted, as if she were back in that moment. “God… this fear overtook me.” She focused back on me. “Right then, I knew something was wrong. I snuck back in my room, but I couldn’t sit still. I ended up grabbing my sketch pad and thinking I’d go draw in the fort. As soon as I wedged myself through the hole in the fence, I saw Mr. Ramirez’s car. I knew it was you. I just started running. I had no idea what was happening, but I knew I had to get to you. I didn’t even stop to think before I tore the door open. And there were flames.” Aly sucked in her trembling lip. “You weren’t moving. I thought you were dead, Jared, and nothing had ever hurt me as much as that. I was screaming at you to wake up, and I dragged you out. Then that gun dropped out onto the ground with you… and all that stuff that’d been on your lap.” The words were hoarse, like she didn’t want to acknowledge it.

“And I knew… ” She cupped my face. “I knew how broken you were and it broke me, too. I pounded on your chest because I didn’t know what else to do. You started throwing up, and that was when I heard a cop car stop on the street and shine its light into the field. It turned out they were already looking for you. I was a coward, Jared… . I ran because I was scared and I didn’t know how to process what I saw. I hid in the dark in the back of the field, watching them work over you… watched them take you away. I’m so sorry I left you there. I’ll always regret that.”



“You’re sorry? Fuck, Aly… I’m sorry.” And f*cking thankful. I had realized that on that deserted road in Vegas. “You saved me. You lived with that while I wasn’t living at all.”



“All these months I wanted to tell you, but I was scared it would drive you away. Once you came back, I saw how much you resented the fact that you lived.” She dropped her gaze and wrung her fingers. “I tried so hard to keep you, but I lost you anyway.”



I edged up closer to her and held her by the jaw, my voice cracking. “I’m here. Baby, I’m here.”



Aly grimaced a smile, holding on to my wrists like she was clinging to life. “It was always you, Jared. Always. I can’t remember a day in my life when I didn’t love you.”



I tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, then slid my palms down to cup her neck.

A faint blush seeped across her cheeks, and she dropped her face and chewed on her lip. “You were my first crush.” She sobered, her voice strained as sincere green eyes slanted up to me. “And my only love.” Her throat bobbed as she swallowed, almost painfully. “I’ve been waiting for you my whole life.”