Color of Blood(49)

The conversation veered to Nathan’s legal work and their goal to buy a single-family home in the next two years, and to have children.

During a brief pause, Beth turned to Dennis.

“You know, Dad, I still can’t believe you work for the CIA,” she said in a mildly scolding tone. Dennis noticed that Nathan winced slightly and looked down at his plate. “I mean I can easily see you working for them, but that’s not the problem. It’s that you kept it from us for so long. I’ve done some research on the web, and it seems like they relaxed those disclosure rules some time ago.”

Dennis frowned, turning his forehead into deep horizontal furrows developed from repeated use.

“Dad,” she said. “Please don’t go into one of your huffs.”

He quickly caught himself. Beth was the only person left in his very small family, and he needed to treat her with a new level of respect. He had found out painfully and brutally that isolation was no longer an option for him.

When Dennis had started working at the Agency it was indeed against regulations to divulge to his family who his employer was; his cover was that he worked in security for an obscure Department of Defense group. But in reality Dennis loved the partitioning of his life into home and work. It suited his vision of the boundaries of his life. When the Agency rules changed in the early 1990s and most employees could disclose to their families that they worked for the CIA, Dennis chose to maintain the old rules and keep his work life cordoned off.

“Well, Beth, I can’t really say why I kept up the charade for so long,” he said, taking a sip of water. “It was a habit.”

“A bad habit,” she said.

“Beth,” Nathan said quickly. “Come on.”

Dennis held up his hand, waving off Nathan’s intervention, and then he did something that was completely unexpected, and in its own small way, shocking. He laughed. Not out of derision, or even mockery, but in a pose of surrender.

“You know I’m a nutbag,” he said, chuckling. “So why are you so surprised? Just do me a favor and don’t put my employment situation on your Facebook page.”

Nathan laughed, and Beth made an odd, startled smile.

“Since when do you make jokes?” she countered. “I’ve never heard you make a joke before. What kind of medication do they have you on?”

“Beth!” Nathan said. “What are you doing?”

“I’m not on any medication,” Dennis said. “Don’t be silly. I’m fine. Don’t I look fine?”

“Yes, actually you do,” she said, reaching for her glass of wine. “You even look tan. Didn’t you say you were in Australia?”

“Yes, I was there for a bit. It’s a pretty interesting place: really nice people.”

“You know—and don’t get all mad at me, but when you called me from there I had the strangest feeling you were in danger,” she said. “I mean it gave me goose bumps. It was very creepy.”

“Yeah, it was weird,” Nathan said, finishing off his meatloaf. “She thought some evil force was descending upon you there in the great Australian outback. I couldn’t talk her out of it. Thank God you came back to the States because, honestly, she was a nervous wreck.”

“Beth, I told you that I don’t have the kind of job that puts me in danger,” Dennis said. “And please tell me you didn’t call Langley again looking for me.”

“I told her not to call,” Nathan said, standing up and clearing the plates from the table. “But she had it in her head you were in trouble, and she needed to talk to you. And when Beth gets her mind on something, there’s no letting go.”

“Now you’re ganging up on me! You think people don’t have premonitions? I’m telling you that I had a strong feeling something bad was going to happen to you, or that you were near something that would harm you.”

Nathan laughed from the kitchen. “See, Mr. Cunningham? Was she like this growing up?”

“Well, she was always headstrong, that’s for sure,” he said. “This premonition thing, though, I don’t remember much of that.”

“Just promise me that you’re not going back to Australia,” Beth said, raising her glass of wine and taking a long sip. Dennis watched the deep ruby-red liquid swirl in the glass bowl as it tipped back.

“No, I’m not going back to Australia,” he said. “And if I were, I certainly wouldn’t tell you.”

Nathan laughed loudly as he sat back down at the table. “That’s my approach as well! Great minds think alike.”

“Men are pigs,” she said.

For a brief moment—perhaps a millisecond—Dennis felt a profound sense of warmth toward his daughter that he had not experienced before. It felt alien, but surprisingly good.

***

Dennis stopped going into Langley and busied himself with silly, nameless tasks like going to see a movie at 2:00 p.m. at a deserted multiplex. He bought a new pair of shoes he didn’t need. He cleaned the bathroom, though it took a long time to find the cleaning materials—and he waited.

To fill the time he called Judy twice; once she was traveling and could not talk. He wondered if she was just blowing him off. He chatted with her a few days later, and they talked like long-lost friends. Like Marty, she did not think working for Massey was a good idea.