Collided: Dirty Air (Book 2)(60)

“Liam kissed me.” I evade her eyes.

“He what?” Maya screeches, making my ears ring.

“I know. And even worse, it wasn’t terrible.” I peek at her from the corner of my eye.

“You’re not stamping his kiss with a glowing recommendation here.”

My cheeks heat at the memory. “No, it was amazing. That’s the problem. And now I can say with certainty that it’s not a fluke because I actually kissed him in Canada.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” Maya pouts.

“I was afraid to admit it while stupidly denying my attraction toward him. It didn’t die down during summer break. Instead, everything feels more intense. How is it possible?”

“You both have this magnetic energy with one another. Everyone sees it except for you two.”

All right, Maya, the ever-observant one. If only she applied these skills to herself.

I sit in silence, unsure how to approach the conversation.

Maya turns her whole body toward me. “Okay, and then what happened after he kissed you tonight?”

“I kissed him back. Duh. And then he asked me to be friends with benefits.”

Maya’s eyebrows draw together, the pinched look adding a couple temporary wrinkles to her forehead. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“What do you mean? Nothing else can happen besides that. And nothing will change between us because we’re adults who can separate feelings from sexy time.”

Maya laughs wholeheartedly. “Oh my God. Please never say that again. Like ever.”

“Is it a bad idea?” Doubt seeps into my head.

“Probably. But you’re committed to the plan and Liam doesn’t look like the type to give up. What’s your aversion to developing something serious with him anyway?”

I spend a minute thinking it over. Maya sits comfortably in the silence and eats her ice cream.

“His past, his future. Because no one, including him, knows what he’ll be doing next year. And I’ll be back in uni finishing up my degree.”

“You can’t predict the future, no matter how hard you try to control everything in your life. Sometimes the best changes aren’t the ones you plan for. And with school, you’ve told me a few times you don’t really love it. Do you really want to keep pursuing something that doesn’t make you happy?”

“I never imagined making my dad happy would cause as much suffering as it has. I don’t know right from wrong, smart from dumb, or pro from con anymore. My brain feels more confused than ever before and I can’t exactly blame a kiss for it.”

Instead of giving me comfort, following my dad’s plan suffocates me and holds me back, providing an illusion of a safety net. In reality, I’ve created a shiny cage, hiding myself in the name of not wanting to disappoint my dad.

I want to live my life to the fullest. Rather than taking risks, I’ve spent my life blaming my dad for locking me up in a tower and setting unrealistic expectations. Part of me wonders if I’ve been just as willing to never test myself and break free from what’s expected of me.

It looks like it’s time to find out.





21





Liam





McCoy kept quiet after I performed well in Milan. I should’ve been wary of their silence, because before the French Grand Prix, they share how they hired a new PR person to help me with my image.

Hence the reason for Jax and me to be trapped in a McCoy conference room.

Thanks to Claudia’s lack of discretion and delusions of grandeur, McCoy hired a new PR rep from Mexico named Elena. McCoy welcomed her to the team because I’m an idiot and Jax because he got caught with his pants down, quite literally. Jax is on a one-way trip to fuckboy town if he keeps up with his latest antics.

I give her a rundown on the shitstorm that has become my life. Safe to say, yesterday’s drama article about me reconciling with Claudia at the Italian gala put a damper on my mood. Why does Claudia continue to tell absurd stories to the press? She needs to find a new hobby or a new rich boy to fuck because her attitude has gotten out of hand.

Jax sneaks looks at Elena throughout our meeting. I spend my time checking him out, holding back a laugh at how he fidgets in his seat and taps his hands against the table. His reactions are questionable, to say the least.

Jax rarely gets rattled by a woman. I mean, Elena looks nice and all with hair framing her face like a dark halo, brown eyes with dark lashes, and skin with a healthy tan. There’s not a blip of interest on my end. But Jax looks intrigued, and I catch Elena eyeing him a couple times as she runs through the new PR questions and standards. She keeps professional by never looking too long. Props to her for withstanding Britain’s finest who has enough secrets to fill an F1 motorhome.

Jax fails to answer a question she asked, choosing to look at her with a confused face and an apologetic smile. I’m dumbfounded by his reaction.

“Did you listen to a word I said?” Her accent has a melodic rhythm to it. She stares at both of us, awareness dawning on her of how we barely paid attention, both of us caught up in our thoughts.

Jax licks his lips. “Not really. Mind repeating it, love?” He shoots her a grin that usually works on women he picks up, except Elena frowns and shakes her head. Not even Jax’s British accent can save him this time.