Collided: Dirty Air (Book 2)(38)

“I make one mistake, and now it’s all about my contribution to the team. It’s frustrating and a lot of pressure with every move I make becoming a question of my skills. And Peter treats me like shit despite my efforts to make him happy. Sometimes it feels like Jax and my team principal are the only ones who have my back on this team.”

I can’t imagine how difficult it is for him to race with crazy expectations, keeping up with the demands of fans and the McCoy team.

Liam settles into one of the gray couches. He runs a hand through his hair, messing it up, abandoning his usual prim and properness.

I sit beside him, patting myself on the back for my bravery to get close. “Seems like a toxic work environment. There’s no love lost between you and Peter, that’s for sure. Are you sure you want to do this for years?”

“It’s the start of the season. I hope Peter gets over it since we still have fifteen races left.” He lets out a deep sigh that makes my heart squeeze.

I lean my head back against the couch, mirroring Liam’s body posture. We both stare at the white ceiling. Liam’s deep breaths even out as his body loosens, no longer stiff from his pent-up agitation.

I don’t press him to talk anymore, preferring to sit in comfortable silence. I thought conversations were a big indication of how much two people got along. Sitting here with Liam, saying nothing, makes me consider how silence is underrated.

Liam’s hand finds mine again. His finger traces the curves and contours of my hand. My heart rate increases, my body flushing from the mere contact with him. He gives my hand a squeeze before pulling away. I frown, unsure why I feel a loss when he gives me the space I want.

Liam’s slowly worming himself into my life. I need to set clear boundaries again, especially when the briefest touch sends goosebumps up my arm. He’s not capable of loving someone like me, and I’m not able to tease apart love and lust. We’re a lethal combination.

I take a deep breath before ruining our silence. “You know I can come over and visit before races. Protect you from Peter.” I put my fists up and punch the air, giving my best boxer impersonation.

Liam chuckles. “I’d like that. If you came over, that is… Minus the fists, though. Save them for someone about two sizes smaller than you.”

“So basically, a toddler.” I turn my head to find him looking at me, his eyes shining under the dim lights. My lungs stop working as Liam’s smile expands.

He drops his smile, his eyes darkening. “I want to ask you something.”

“What?”

His eyes run over my face, lingering on my lips. “Why do you want to be friends?”

I take a whole minute to answer. “Because you’re funny. And you’re not too bad to look at either, so I guess that’s a plus.”

“But why do you deny our chemistry?”

I swallow back the rock-sized lump in my throat. “I don’t. You’re not used to being around a girl who’s interested in getting to know you for more than your acrobatic bedroom skills.”

He battles a smile. “One day, you’re going to submit, and I can’t wait to show you how much you’ll regret waiting.”

I fake gasp. “Are you trying to tell me you’re a Dominant?”

Liam and I have a way of screwing around with each other, and it happens to be one of my favorite things about our friendship. I don’t want to risk that for a meaningless hookup throughout the season.

“You need to read less of those books you like. I don’t need to assert myself since you’ll come begging when you’re ready.” He knocks me back with a telling smile.

I can’t help the way my body hums with excitement at his words. But keeping to my usual pattern with everything Liam-related, I brush his comments aside, hiding behind armor that looks an awful lot like cowardice. I’m very aware of my weakness. Sadly, I have enough insight to admit my fear and my incapability of letting loose and taking risks.

I shake my head. “You have an active imagination. I’m glad that hasn’t disappeared with age and all.”

“It gets me through the weeks.” He rubs a palm down his face as he grumbles something about sexual frustration. His cheeks deepen in color.

Oh. Oh.

I drop my head back against the couch and laugh. For some reason, my body tingles at the idea of him alone in his room at night, pleasuring himself. Images run through my mind and invade my thoughts.

His hoarse voice cracks my resolve. “You’re looking a little red. Does that turn you on? Knowing I go to bed alone, staring at the ceiling while my fist pumps my cock?”

Oh my God. I want to bury myself into the cushions and disappear. My breathing grows heavier, unable to rid his words from my head.

“Ask me what I think about with my cock stiff and aching for the real deal?” His voice drops low, the husky tone lighting me up from the inside out.

I don’t dare ask him if he thinks about me.

He eats up the space on the couch as his fingers grip my chin.

“No.” My voice squeaks. I try to break away from his grasp, but his eyes hold mine hostage.

My heart beats wildly against my chest while my fingers clutch onto the leather couch. Blue eyes bore into mine, reading me like he always does, sensing my lies with a glance.

“I think about a blonde woman who’s too damn afraid to admit she wants to be there with me, sucking me off before letting me fuck her into oblivion. I can’t get a particular someone out of my head who hides behind a friendship because she doesn’t want to face shit head-on. My cock aches for a woman who acts fearless to others but runs at the first sign of my interest. Tell me why you are so keen on denying what we both crave?”