Collide (Collide #1)(76)

"Bullshit, you went first the last time. I get to go first."

He laughed. "You don't miss a beat, do you?"

"Not usually."

"Okay, seems fair. Ask me something."

Emily's mind roved over what she knew she wanted to ask him but was unsure if she should. Nonetheless, it was her turn to let her curiosity get the better of her. "I want to know why you and your ex-fiancee broke up."

His expression became guarded for a moment as he stared off into the stands. Emily saw the bright blue of his eyes change as though a cloud passed by overhead - and in that moment, she regretted bringing it up.

He leaned forward, placing his beer on the ground, and then looked back to Emily. "Hmm, my first question addressed to you the last time we played was about your favorite ice cream flavor. You're going straight for the kill, I see."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that," she whispered, looking down to the ground.

"No, it's okay. I just wasn't expecting that right out the gate. But I feel comfortable talking to you about it."

Emily's head snapped up. "You do?"

"Yeah, for some reason, I do." Pulling in a breath, he leaned back in his seat and hesitated for a few seconds. "She left me because Blake Industries was going under at one point. My father offered Colton and me the funds to keep it afloat. But us Blake boys tend to be a little stubborn, and we refused his help, knowing we would get it back on track on our own." He ran his hand through his hair. "I explained everything to her, letting her know that we needed to cut back on some of our spending until I could resurrect the company. She argued with me that I should accept my father's money and called me crazy for thinking we could get back on our feet without his help. Along with Colton, I was firm on my decision not to take the money though. She was living with me in my penthouse after we got engaged. I came home one day after work to a letter - in beautiful handwriting, I have to add - saying that she couldn't take the risk of not living the life I had afforded her." He reached down for his beer, took a sip, and exhaled a breath. "Five years together and her goodbye to me...was a letter."

Emily searched his eyes and was able to see the pain that swirled beyond them. "You loved her," she whispered.

He gave a quick shrug. "Yeah, she broke my heart. I thought she loved me for the man I was without the glitz and money. I mean, when we first met, I was in my senior year of college, so it wasn't that I was as successful as I eventually became. She betrayed the faith that I had in love when she left." He pressed his lips into a hard line. "Don't get me wrong; looking back on it now, I know we weren't made for one another. One, she was too concerned about the way we appeared in public - anything from what cars her and I drove to what parties we attended in the city." He rubbed at his chin absently and continued. "She wasn't like that when we first met; the change was gradual. Our biggest difference was that she made it clear she never wanted children. I loved her enough to consider a life without having any, but like I said, looking back, she wouldn't have been worth giving up the chance to have a family."

A faint smile touched Emily's mouth. "You want kids?"

"I want bucketloads tucked neatly into a minivan," he laughed.

"Gavin Blake in a minivan?"

"Absolutely," he replied, reaching for his beer. "A funky forest green one, too."

Emily laughed for a moment at his admission. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as he adjusted his baseball cap, feeling a little shocked by everything he just told her. She was now starting to understand his need for filling voids.