Collide (Collide #1)(169)

"I wish I could hate you - it'd be easier - but you have no idea how much I love you," he breathed out, sucking in her bottom lip and gently biting it. "And that's not hate you're feeling for me. You love me, goddamn it. You're mad at something that didn't happen. Fucking hit me again. Fucking punch me if you need to, but stop saying you don't love me because all you're doing is lying to yourself. You're tearing us apart."

Still clinging to his hair, she pulled her lips away from his. They were both fighting for air as they burned holes into one another's eyes. With one hand still buried in his hair, she smacked him in the face with the other, the sound reverberating throughout the room. At the same time, a moan left her mouth as she felt Gavin's fingers slip out from inside her - her body left feeling torturously bereft by their absence.

"I hate you," she cried out as her entire body braced itself for battle.

"No, you don't. You love me, and I love you," he growled through gritted teeth, glowering back at her. He brought his hands up and cupped her cheeks. "Hit me again if you have to, doll. Just do it. Fucking hit me again and get it all out."

She didn't hesitate. She smacked him again, fury and confusion burning deep inside as angry tears spilled down her cheeks.

Pulling her by the waist off the table, he set her on her feet and crashed his lips over hers again. "Leave with me right now. Don't do this. Don't marry him," he pleaded into her mouth, his words vibrating against her lips. Grabbing fistfuls of his sweatshirt, Emily's eyes rolled back into her head as she sank into the familiarity of his kiss, his smell, and his touch. "We'll tell him together. I told you I wouldn't let you do it alone. Gina means nothing to me anymore. I shouldn't have let her in, but for f*ck's sake, I didn't do anything with her."

Pain.

There it was again, sweeping as fresh as an open wound through her soul. It bled out with no sign of letting up. Whispering his sweet words of seduction while trying to veil the bitter taste of the ugly truth, he was trying to break her down into nothing but tiny particles of dust. Like a whip, the harsh reality of what he was trying to do cracked through her chest, disturbing her thoughts with its potency. Immediately, without conscious effort, the gates around the fortress of her shattered heart closed. The most important thing now was to protect the remaining pieces.

She shoved hard against his chest, effectively pushing him away. Looking down, scrambling to pull her panties back up, she couldn't see the shock on his face. Without a backward glance, she headed toward the door. In a few quick strides, Gavin was at her side. Not intending to let her leave the room, he caught her by the arm and pulled her to a skidded stop.

Swiping tears away from her hooded eyes, she looked up at him.

With his soul crying out for her to believe him, his expression creased painfully. "I've never felt so heartbroken and so in love at the same time. If you would've told me the day we met that you were going to break my heart -  and that days, months, or even years would pass, that I would still be hurting like this - it wouldn't have stopped me from falling in love with you," he whispered, his voice cracking. "But I would've done one thing differently, and loving you any less isn't one of them." He slowly brought his knuckles up to her face, wiping the tears away from her beautiful confused eyes, his voice soft. "I wouldn't have let her in. That's the only thing I would've changed, Emily. I wouldn't have f*cking let her in."

As her body trembled from head to toe, Emily stood there staring at him, but before she could speak a word, the door flung open.