Chasing Spring(15)

…

When I got home, I leaned back on the dead grass in my backyard, crossed my legs, and stared out at the remnants of the garden positioned behind our small cottage house. My dad had already fixed up the flowerbeds. The wood was mismatched, new and old, fresh and worn. There were eight beds in total and if I planned them out right, I could fill every last inch of them with seeds.

I scribbled down combinations in my journal, each one specifically chosen for companion growing. Tansy and roses grow well together because tansy attracts ladybugs and ladybugs eat aphids before they can harm the roses. Onions grown near carrots usually keep away the rust flies and broccoli paired with cucumbers helps to repel beetles. There were more combinations, hundreds and hundreds, but my mom had only taught me a few before she’d left.

Harvey lay sprawled in the grass beside me, content to bask in the late evening sun as I patted his belly. I was still trying to recall more planting combinations when a shadow fell over my notebook. I glanced up to find Chase standing there, his blond hair damp with sweat. Unless I could find planting techniques tattooed across his arms, there was no reason to keep staring at him, but I hadn’t seen his body up close in years. He hardly looked like the boy I’d grown up with. That kid had been scrawny and tall. The Chase standing beside me was suddenly a man.

“What are you two doing?” he asked, jarring me out of my intense staring contest with his biceps. When I scanned up to his face, he was wearing a playful smile and the glint in his hazel eyes told me he knew exactly what I'd been doing.

“Planning out my beds,” I answered simply before staring back down at my notebook.

He bent to greet Harvey and the dog went crazy, licking and wagging his tail now that his best friend was home.

“I’m pretty good with a shovel if you need any help.”

I bit down on my lip, wondering if I'd have to take him up on his offer.

“Harvey’s pretty good at digging holes too,” he added.

I laughed and the sound surprised me. For a moment, I forgot the balance of the universe, but it didn’t last. Chase and I were no longer friends and it had to stay that way.

I pushed off the ground and closed my notebook with a slap.

“I'm going to go start dinner,” I said before walking away.

I wanted everything to be simple, but every time I gave Chase a little bit more, a laugh or a smile, I felt guilt wrap around my neck like a vine, choking me inch by inch.

I texted Trent when I got to the kitchen.



Lilah: Sorry I left early today.

Trent: No problem. Are you going to Sasha's party this weekend?

Lilah: I hadn’t heard anything about it…

Trent: Well now you have. I’ll pick you and Ashley up on my way there.



Balance restored.





Chapter Eighteen


November 1997

Deer Valley, Texas





The first six months of Hannah’s pregnancy had been a lonely endeavor. There was only one OB/GYN in Blackwater and he had a heart for gossip, so Hannah had researched and found a doctor two towns away in Deer Valley. Her best friend always accompanied her to and from the doctor’s office, and it was on the return journey of her six-month checkup that Elaine had announced her news.

“I think I’m pregnant.”

Hannah’s jaw dropped. “What!? Seriously? With Chris?”

Elaine rolled her eyes. “Of course with Chris. Who else would—”

Hannah cut her off. “Have you done a test yet?”

Elaine glanced out the window and shook her head. “No.”

Hannah didn’t hesitate before booking Elaine an appointment at the OB/GYN in Deer Valley. They sat together in a dark exam room, the only light coming from the thin window on the door and the ancient ultrasound machine whirring beside the exam chair. Hannah stood to the side, clutching her friend’s hand. Elaine stared up at the ceiling, only catching bits and pieces of the appointment: the cold petroleum jelly slipping down her thigh, the scratchy paper covering the exam chair, the doctor’s quiet cadence as he explained that she was listening to her baby’s heartbeat for the first time.

“Elaine, did you hear the doctor? That’s the sound of her heart.”

“Her?” the doctor questioned, eyeing Hannah with an incredulous glare.

Hannah smiled and reached for her growing belly out of instinct. “Oh, it’s just that I’m having a baby boy, so we think—”

The doctor hit print on the ultrasound machine, interrupting her explanation. “She won’t know the gender for a few weeks.”

Hannah backpedaled. “Yes. Of course.”

The doctor flicked on the light in the exam room and Elaine blinked, trying to force her eyes to adjust to the brightness. He held out a photo for her to take and she realized she was seeing her baby for the first time—well, what she assumed was a baby. It could have been anything to her untrained eye. The doctor gave her orders to get dressed and meet him in his office, but Elaine sat immobile, mesmerized by the residual echoes of her baby’s heartbeat paired with the image in front of her. The fact that she was pregnant finally sank in; she was going to be a mom. She pressed her hand over her stomach and tried to keep from crying.

“I can’t believe we’re both going to be moms!” Hannah was elated with the news, bouncing around the room on a cloud that Elaine couldn’t see. It made perfect sense to her. They were soulmates, friends, sisters. They were supposed to walk through life arm in arm and that included experiencing motherhood together. “We’re young, but that’s okay. Our kids will grow up together and they’ll even be in the same grade. I think they’ll be—”