Chasin' Eight (Rough Riders #11)(150)

“I fell in love with your father when I was fifteen years old. I had to see him on the sly because my father believed the McKays were no good. Long story short, I got knocked up at age sixteen. I was scared to death to tell my mother. But I did, and she immediately went to my father. He flew into a rage, called me every horrible name because a preacher’s daughter wasn’t supposed to get pregnant, especially by a McKay. He swore I’d be eternally damned if I tied myself and a child to that heathen family. To save face, his and mine, he told everyone he’d sent me to finish high school at a Christian academy in Colorado, when in truth, he shipped me off to an unwed mother’s home.
“I’ll admit to being a brainwashed during my time there. I never considered keeping my baby. My pregnancy was a source of shame. Baby gone, shame gone.” She sent Gavin a pleading look. “Please understand times were different back then.”

Gavin nodded and drained his shot.
“I had a healthy boy. Then they whisked him away to his adoptive parents. I never knew the details of where he ended up. My folks never spoke of it and I didn’t tell a soul.”

“Not even Dad?” Quinn asked.
She shook her head. “When I came back to Wyoming, four years later, it was if Charlie and I hadn’t been apart. We still loved each other and we married right away. How could I tell him we had a three-year-old son? I’d made the choice to give the baby a better life; there was no going back. No tracking the boy down and taking him from his adoptive parents. I could never do that…” Her voice caught.
Dad leaned over and murmured to her. It took a minute or so for her to regain control.
Chase picked up his shot and his stomach protested when the whiskey hit.

“After a few years, we started having you boys and… Well, my life was busy. Good. Happy. But I never forgot about that sweet baby boy I held in my arms for one short hour. Not a single day went by that I didn’t wonder about him. Pray his life was good. Pray he was loved.”

Gavin’s eyes were on the shot glass he rolled between his fingers.
“So I was shocked when your Aunt Kimi confronted me after your grandpa Jed died. She said one night Jed was loopy on pain meds and he told her that my father told him that I was pregnant. My father bragged to Jed I’d rather give the baby up than have it raised in a godless home as a McKay. Which was a total lie, but Jed must’ve believed it. After Kimi told me that, I finally understood why Jed never liked me and why he refused to live with us.”

“Aunt Kimi never told Uncle Cal?” Chase asked.
“No. But she told your Aunt Carolyn.”

Gavin said nothing.
“When did you tell Dad?” Ben asked gently.
“Right after Quinn and Libby got back together.” She looked at Quinn. “The day you told me to butt out of your relationship and said my meddling wasn’t appreciated and wouldn’t be tolerated, I realized I’d been acting just like my mother. It shamed me, the things I’d said, some of the things I’d done, including keeping such a big secret from Charlie.”

“Vi. Honey. Take a break. This ain’t good for your blood pressure.”

She shook her head. “I have to see this through. When I told your father what I’d kept from him, I was scared to death he’d tell me to pack a bag. I expected his fury and everything in my life and my marriage to be over, and I knew I’d deserve whatever I got. But he didn’t leave me. My Charlie…forgave me and…” The stalwart ranch woman Chase had seen cry maybe half a dozen times in his entire life completely broke down.
What was equally shocking? Witnessing the loving side of his father. How he automatically pulled her into his arms and soothed her. Maybe it was another sign of Chase’s self-absorbedness that he’d never noticed their connection beyond their parental roles. Watching them now, he saw romance. He saw unconditional love. Given the situation, there had to be a whole lot of unconditional forgiveness between them too.