Captured by Love (Michigan Brides #3)(85)

Long after nightfall they finally stopped and made camp. After a meal of hominy and salted pork, he sat against a boulder near his fire and pulled Angelique in front of him so that she had little choice but to lean back against him.

The September air was cool, and he wrapped his arms around her like a blanket, telling himself he was only trying to keep her warm and comfortable. But the truth was he couldn’t get enough of her.

She folded her arms across his and laid her head against his shoulder so that her curls tickled his chin. The popping flames and the sparks rising into the black night mingled with the low voices of his men at their campfires. The sky was clear with a magnificent display of stars fanning out over the lake all the way to the horizon.

“It’s beautiful, Pierre,” she whispered. “I’m beginning to understand why you love the wilderness.”

He drew in a breath of the pristine air broken only by woodsmoke. “Do you think you could ever be happy out here?”

She hesitated. “I’m not sure. I’d like to think I could be happy anywhere. I’m learning to trust God to be my rock through every situation. But I love the island, Pierre. I think I love it as much as you love this.” She glanced to the waves lapping against the rocky shore, to the sliver of moon reflected in the water.

Even though he didn’t want her words to bother him, disappointment sliced into him.

“You belong here,” she said softly. “After watching you today, I can see it in a way I couldn’t before.”

He shrugged. After Red Fox’s update on the ongoing struggle with the North West Fur Company that summer and their continued efforts to put the free traders like himself out of business, he wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to protect his brigade and trade for furs anyway. He had a feeling his fur-trading days were numbered. “It doesn’t matter where I am—”

“This brings you to life in a way the farm never did.”

“That’s not true . . .”

“I always tell you the truth, Pierre.”

He swallowed the words of rebuttal, knowing he couldn’t deny what his heart had already told him. He lowered his head, wanting to kiss her, wanting to forget about everything that stood between them.

Why did it have to be so complicated? They loved each other. Couldn’t that be enough?

He nestled his lips against her hair, dragging in a deep breath of her. Lifting his fingers to her chin, he tilted her head so that he could kiss her.

“Pierre . . .”

He could sense the trust in her voice, the desire, and the same need to be with him that he felt for her. But when he bent to capture her mouth, she turned away.

“Pierre, we can’t.”

He gently nudged her head back, wanting to silence her protest.

She resisted again, this time pulling out of his arms altogether. “I’m not free to love you yet.”

He released a ragged sigh. “Don’t tell me you’re going to let Jean stand between us again.”

She shifted positions and knelt in front of him. “He still believes we’re to be married when he returns. I gave him my promise I’d be waiting.”

“People change, Angelique.”

“Not like this. I can’t do it this way, not by deceiving him.” Her words caught on a sob. “I can’t kiss you and find comfort in your arms, not when I pledged myself to Jean.”

His body tightened with a rush of frustration, the same frustration he’d experienced since the day he’d pulled Jean from the battle.

“I don’t want to become like my mother.” She grasped his hands. “You’ve got to understand that. She cheated on my father and broke his heart. I can’t do that to Jean.”

“You’re nothing like your mother. And besides, you’re not married to Jean yet.”

“But if I can so easily throw aside my commitment and cheat on Jean now before marriage, it’s only the first step down the path to being unfaithful in other things.”

“Then write to my brother and tell him you can’t marry him.”

“I can’t end things with a letter. He’s a good man, and he deserves better than that.”

Deep inside, he knew she was right, that he was being selfish again, as he had so many times in the past. But his desire for her and the helplessness of not being able to have her dueled within him, slashing his heart wide open.

“I paid the bride price to Ebenezer,” he said, unable to keep the rumble of anger from his voice. “You’re mine now.”

“Jean paid it too.”

He shook his head. “When he left he gave up his right to have you.”

“Just because he left, he shouldn’t have to worry about me pushing him aside for someone else when he’s gone. How would you feel if the situation were reversed? You wouldn’t want me to do that to you, would you?”

He jumped to his feet. He didn’t want to think about what was right. He’d almost died, almost lost his opportunity to ever hold her again. And he wasn’t going to give her up now that he had her. How could he?

“I had Red Fox bring you out here so that we could be together,” he said hoarsely. “Are you telling me you want to just throw that away?”

She shook her head, the firelight reflecting the wretchedness in every line of her pretty face.