California Girls(69)

Pain ripped through her, but she ignored the searing across her heart as she tried to figure out how she would feel under those circumstances. What if Nigel had just told her he was unhappy in their marriage and wanted out? Then their situation wouldn’t be about him or Treasure or betrayal. It would be about her.

It would be her fault.

She held the bear closer. No, she told herself. It wouldn’t be. He was still the one who... It was him. All him. It had to be. She was just...

She thought about what he’d said about scheduling sex and felt herself flush. As for the rest of his complaints, that she was too busy and too focused on her career, the same could be said about him. His work mattered more than anything. They were successful, driven people.

But Nigel had been unhappy. She didn’t want to think about that, but the words refused to go away and she couldn’t stop hearing them. And if she accepted the premise that without Treasure, without cheating, it was all on her, where did that leave them? Were there any pieces to pick up or were they past the point of redemption? Had they gone all this way only to end up with nothing?

Nigel was the only man she’d ever loved—she couldn’t have lost him. And yet, it seemed she had.





Chapter Eighteen


Ali sat in the dark. It wasn’t even ten o’clock, but it felt later. Or maybe it was just her mood. She knew she should get up and get ready for bed. Or go eat ice cream.

No, she amended, still not stirring from the sofa in Daniel’s huge living room. She shouldn’t eat ice cream but she probably would. Maybe a nice sugar rush would distract her from the hamster wheel that was her current thoughts. She wouldn’t mind the spinning so much if she was thinking something nice about herself, but she wasn’t. Words like loser and stupid and insignificant kept tumbling around and around.

She pulled her knees to her chest and told herself she was fine. Or would be fine. That these feelings would pass and she would be—

A light clicked on in the hallway. Seconds later Daniel walked into the room.

He was in silhouette so she couldn’t see much more than the shape of him. He looked big and strong, as if he could easily handle whatever life threw at him. He was so together. He had a beautiful house and a great business and a wonderful future to look forward to. By contrast she was homeless, stuck in a dead-end job with an employer who didn’t think she had any potential. And if she kept eating ice cream she was going to be even more overweight than she was now.

“Want to talk about it?” he asked, settling in one of the chairs opposite the sofa.

He turned on the table lamp next to him, looked at her and waited.

“I’m feeling whiny,” she admitted. “Trust me, you don’t want to be a part of this.”

He smiled. “Give me your best. I can handle it.”

She really didn’t want to fall apart in front of him. She’d done too much of that already. But somehow his words seemed to loosen whatever self-control she had until she found herself blurting, “It’s awful. You have no idea. I figured Glen dumping me was the worst of it, but it’s not. Or maybe that was just the beginning of my unhappy revelations.”

She dropped her feet to the floor and put her hands on her lap. “Did you know that my dad and I haven’t actually talked in six months? We don’t ever talk. We text every now and then. When he found out about Glen, he texted me. There was no supportive phone call. Just a text. My mom was slightly more supportive, but it’s a really low bar. She and I did have a conversation during which she asked me what I’d done wrong to lose Glen.”

She paused, waiting for him to say something, but Daniel only watched her, as if expecting her to continue. She drew in a breath.

“I thought things were great at work. I thought I was doing a good job. I’m in charge of inventory control and I’ve implemented a lot of changes that are making a difference. I’ve run other departments, I’ve had people working for me. When the warehouse manager goes on vacation or gets sick, I’m the one who fills in.”

She glared at him. “And you know what? He’s retiring and they’ve interviewed Ray for his job but not me. Why not me? I know more about the warehouse. I’m a better manager. Ray was invited to interview and I’ve heard nothing. Nada. It’s like they don’t see me. Zennie’s having a baby for her best friend. She’s giving Bernie and Hayes a baby. A baby! That’s amazing. She’s amazing and I’m not. I want to be amazing, too.”

Daniel shifted slightly. She thought he was going to say something, but he didn’t so she continued.

“Adding insult to injury, and I know this won’t make sense to you, but it’s a big deal to me,” she said, doing her best to keep the whine out of her voice, “there’s the clock I told you about. I’ve loved it since I was a little girl. I know it’s silly and who needs a grandfather clock, but it means something to me and you know what? The woman is downsizing. She’s begging us to take things and she doesn’t want the clock, but she doesn’t want me to have it either. She would rather donate it to a charity than let me have it.”

She pressed her lips together. “I feel small and overlooked and useless. Just when I thought I was getting my life together, I realized it’s all falling apart and I don’t know what to do.” She found herself fighting tears.