California Girls(31)

“Why yes, we do.” She walked toward him. “I think our marriage is worth a few minutes of our time.”

He was being a jerk on purpose, she told herself. Trying to rile her so she would lash out and he could play the victim. He wanted to distract her so he wasn’t the bad guy. Well, he could try, but that wasn’t going to happen. He’d betrayed her. Betrayed them. He’d let her face his mistress on her own, on live television. He’d never warned her, never even hinted about what was going to happen.

“I’m sorry about what happened,” he said.

Before she could go off on a rant he more than deserved, he added, “But I really just wanted to get my ski stuff.”

His statement was so at odds with what she was thinking that she had trouble processing the meaning.

“It’s almost summer.”

He sighed heavily. “Yes, Finola. It’s summer here, in the northern hemisphere. In the southern hemisphere, it’s nearly winter and there’s good skiing. We’re going to Valle Nevado in Tres Valles, Chile.”

He glanced toward the garage, where his ski equipment was stored, then back at her.

“I suppose you’re right. We should talk.”

“Talk?” she asked, feeling anger burning inside of her. “No, Nigel, I don’t want to talk. I want you drawn and quartered. I want you suffering in every way possible. How could you do this? It’s one thing to have an affair. That’s its own pool of slime, but what you did to me last Friday was inhuman.”

“Don’t you think that’s a little dramatic?”

“No, I don’t. You announced you were having an affair right before I was going on live television. As if that wasn’t bad enough, you didn’t have the balls to tell me your mistress was my first guest.”

His eyes widened. “She told you?”

“Of course she told me. Why do you think she booked the show in the first place? It certainly wasn’t for the exposure. She told me and left me hanging there, not knowing if she was about to announce it to the world on my show!”

He had the grace to look chagrined. “I didn’t know that. I didn’t think she would...”

“You suspected it, otherwise why tell me about the affair?”

His shoulders slumped a little, as if the guilt was starting to get to him.

“I can’t believe you did this. I can’t believe you abandoned our marriage. What were you thinking?”

He straightened and glared at her. “I was thinking that you walked out on us a long time ago. You’re all about your career. Nothing else matters, certainly not me. You put off having kids for five years. Five. Every year we’d talk about it and you said it wasn’t a good time. Well, I got tired of waiting.”

“Poor you. Is Treasure going to give you children? I don’t think so. This is just like you, blaming me for what you did. You’ve always done that. I never cheated, I never moved out, but hey, sure, make me the bad guy.”

“I had to do this, Finola. I didn’t have a choice.”

“There’s always a choice.”

His tone gentled. “No, there isn’t. I wasn’t looking for anyone. I’ve never done this before. I was doing consults and she came in with a girlfriend who had a botched nose job. The second I saw her, it was electric. I can’t explain it, but one minute everything was ordinary and the next, it wasn’t.”

Each word stabbed her, going so deep she didn’t know how she stayed standing. There was too much pain, too much of her love for him pouring out until she knew she would die. She had to—no one could survive this.

“So that’s it?” she managed, pressing her hand to her midsection to physically hold herself intact. “We’re through?”

“I don’t know. I honest to God don’t know.” He looked at her. “I have to be with her. I’m sorry if that hurts you but that’s where I am. I hope you can understand.”

Understand his affair? Understand how magical it was? “I don’t want to understand, you asshole. I don’t care how great things are. You are destroying us. We are never going to be able to put the pieces back together. Don’t you see that?”

“I see I’ve hurt you and that was never what I wanted. I wish...”

“What? Oh dear God, don’t you dare say you wish you could have us both. Don’t be that much of a jackass.”

She wanted to scream at him. She wanted to stab him and beat him and most of all, worst of all, she wanted to beg him to not want Treasure anymore.

She hated him and loved him and hated herself for her weakness. She knew, no matter what, she couldn’t give in to it. She couldn’t say the words because if she begged, she would never be able to recover.

“Treasure has a reputation for using up her lovers and tossing them aside,” she said instead. “Have you considered that?”

“I have, but it will be different this time.”

For the first time since hearing the news, Finola’s smile was genuine. “Is that what you think? That you’re her one true love and you’ll be together forever? She’s what, fifteen years younger than you, and one of the most famous women in the world. She has a thing for married men. I’m sorry to break it to you, but you are just one of many.”