CROSS (A Gentry Boys Novella)(30)

Stone was watching me curiously. “What’s wrong with you now?”

“When you and Erin hung out last week-“

“I already told you we weren’t exactly hanging out. I saved her from a rattlesnake and she gave me lemonade and we talked about you the whole time.”

“Fine, whatever. What did she say about me?”

“Huh? I don’t remember. A bunch of googly-eyed girly things.”

“You guys seemed like you were having a pretty deep talk.”

“I was nice to her and she was nice back.” He gave me a hard look. “You think I’d cross over into your territory or something?”

“No.” I shook my head “I don’t think that. It’s just that we’ve been kind of clashing lately and I was just wondering if she’d told you anything I needed to hear.”

Stone didn’t blink. He was in a rare serious mood. “Conway, if your girlfriend had said even the smallest thing I thought you needed to know, I wouldn’t hesitate to repeat it.”

“I know.” It was a stupid thought.

“I’m your brother for f*ck’s sake.”

“I know.”

“Blood before bitches.”

“Erin’s not a bitch.”

“She’s not,” Stone agreed. Then he turned back to lavish some more awe on his own reflection. “Look Con, it’ll be all right. Girls get moody and Erin’s no exception but you guys will turn it around.”

I watched my brother watching himself. “You’re right.”

“Always am.”

“Can I borrow your black polo?”

“Fuck no.”

The only clean shirt I could find had the Carson’s Garage logo on it. Erin didn’t seem to mind. She smiled and leaned in for a kiss when I picked her up. As I stepped back from her lips I noticed a middle-aged, chubby guy glaring at me from an overstuffed armchair.

“Hi, Mr. Rielo.” I waved energetically. He looked at me like I was sidewalk gum. He’d been doing that a lot lately.

“Hi, Con,” he finally muttered. His voice turned much more gentle when he addressed his daughter. “Not too late, Erin.”

“I’ll be home by ten, Dad. I promise.”

Emblem wasn’t a exactly a hotbed of choice eateries but the diner in the middle of town wasn’t bad. Erin looked cute in a denim skirt and a pink long-sleeved cardigan over a matching tank top. We held hands on the walk and she started talking about the college application essay she was struggling with.

“How come you’re worrying about that now?” I asked. “You won’t be applying anywhere for months.”

She gave me an arch look. “Doesn’t hurt to be prepared, Con. You can’t always live for the day and refuse to think about tomorrow.”

I rolled my eyes. I didn’t mean to. I just didn’t understand why she had to take every comment so damn seriously. “You also can’t live only for tomorrow because it might not ever come.”

She dropped my hand and stopped walking, staring at me. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Crap, I didn’t want to start anything. I just wanted to take my girlfriend out for a decent dinner and hopefully fool around for a while later on.

“Nothing,” I said. “It’s just not healthy to obsess about whatever might happen in the future. Not everything can be controlled.”

She bristled. “So why even try, right?” Her voice was rising with every word and her fists were clenched. “Just blissfully disregard everyone else and do whatever you want. Why not? What do you care who gets clobbered by your selfishness?”

I was getting annoyed but couldn’t help feeling like I was missing something vital. “Erin, what the hell are you talking about? Is this about the accident last week? Yeah, I did a shitty, stupid, selfish thing. I regret it. But I’m kind of shaking my head over the idea that you were so terribly hurt.”

She exhaled. She chewed her thumbnail and looked away. “Never mind,” she finally said. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t talking about you anyway.”

“Oh. Who were you talking about?”

“Never mind that either.” She took my hand again. “Let’s just have a nice night.”

A brittle politeness ensued. It followed us throughout dinner. Every moment was more awkward than the last. We weren’t fighting, not exactly. It was kind of like being on a first date with someone you weren’t yet sure you liked. As soon as the thought occurred to me I rejected it guiltily. This wasn’t some random girl. This was Erin. My Erin. We’d known each other since we were toddlers. We were in love.

She picked at her food. She smiled whenever I made a small joke although I could tell the difference between a true Erin smile and a pretend Erin smile. It wasn’t all her fault. I couldn’t relax. Everything that came out of my mouth felt forced. It was just an off night all around.

We held hands on the walk home through the soft twilight and didn’t talk much. The temperature still hovered around a hundred degrees even though the sun was on its way down. I remember reading once about Emblem’s early residents and how they would set their beds outside along Main Street during the summer nights when it was just too damn hot to sleep indoors. They would wrap themselves in wet sheets, wave good night to their neighbors and try to get comfortable for at least a few hours until the sunrise made it impossible.