CROSS (A Gentry Boys Novella)(15)

Instead I nudged his knee with mine. That was the best I could do right now. He nudged back.





CHAPTER FIVE


ERIN



“Stop squirming.”

“God, Roe. I look like a clown.”

“Only because you keep moving and screwing up my lines. Now sit still, ma chère.”

I obeyed my best friend and settled into the creaky desk chair so she could finish my makeup. Roe’s makeup bag was bigger than my school backpack and held the kind of quality, expensive stuff that I would never be able to afford. So far she’d given me about half her stash and would have pushed more at me if I hadn’t gotten embarrassed and refused. Roe was cool like that.

“There,” she finally said in triumph as she backed away and squinted at her handiwork. She was pleased enough to break into a wide smile. Roe was gorgeous with long auburn curls and a dancer’s body. I was sorry to hear that she’d given up ballet this past year.

I looked in the square vanity mirror.

“Not terrible,” I admitted.

I never wore much makeup. Roe insisted my smooth olive complexion didn’t really need it but she wanted to do something nice for me and she knew all about this stuff. Makeup. Fashion. Men. If you didn’t know Roe at all, if you were just judging her based on her cool beauty and sophisticated tastes, you’d think she was a girl who had the world at her feet. The kind of girl who didn’t even know what problems looked like. Maybe the reason we got along so well was because we both knew that the picture we chose to show the world didn’t mean a thing. It was the story inside, full of broken complications, that told the truth.

“Gorgeous,” she corrected and then with lightning speed and a pair of bobby pins twisted my hair up into a loose French twist. “A vision,” she declared with a theatrical bow and a French accent. “Mademoiselle can have any conquest she desires.”

I blushed. I knew I wasn’t ugly. But I wasn’t Roe-quality hot.

“Come on.” She pushed me out of the chair. “Let’s go find that boy of yours and get his hormones raging.”

I snorted. “Con’s hormones are fine without any help.”

“Really?” She dropped to my bed and prissily crossed her long legs like she was settling in to hear some good gossip. “Elaborate please. I’ve been wondering how long you two were going to hold out.”

“Oh. We didn’t,” I stammered. “I mean, we almost did. A lot. But we didn’t.”

Roe blinked and then nodded thoughtfully. “He’s all right, that Conway Gentry.”

“Because he hasn’t screwed me?”

She smiled gently. “Because he doesn’t push you. He loves you, E. I see it in the way he looks at you. He’d wait forever if he had to. That kind of guy doesn’t come along everyday. The kind who will love you just as you are.”

“He doesn’t know who I am,” I muttered.

Roe was startled. “Erin. That’s ridiculous.”

The tears were there. Hot and sudden. They hovered behind my eyes and threatened to spill. Roe had seen me cry before, with the suddenness of a tsunami. I felt free to cry in front of her. She knew things I hid from everyone else. She knew what really happened the day my mother died. I suppose a lot of other people also knew but out of respect for my father and our family they must have decided long ago to keep their mouths shut.

“Are you still doing it?” my friend asked me with quiet pain. She swallowed with a grimace. “You promised. You promised you wouldn’t anymore.”

“Not as much,” I said defensively.

“You need to stop, Erin.”

I wrapped my arms around my chest. “I know.”

“What about that number I gave you? The help line?”

“I called it,” I lied. “It was helpful.”

Roe gave me a vague smile. She knew when to believe me and when not to. “You should talk to your dad.”

I thought about my father. So tired and bewildered. “No.”

“I could be there with you.”

“No!” I hadn’t meant to shout. I drew my knees up to my chest. “One more year until I graduate and get out of here. Everything will be much better then.”

Roe chewed her lip and then sighed. “The thing is, it’s not so easy to escape the things you hate about yourself.”

“I don’t hate myself.”

My friend reached over and took my arm. I let her run her finger over a long faded scar on the underside of my elbow. “You don’t love yourself either. And you should.”

“I’ll stop,” I said and this time I meant it. But then I always meant it. “I swear.”

She dropped my arm and suddenly clapped her hands together. “It’s going to be so great, Erin. You and me, up at ASU together. We’ll be roommates of course.”

“Of course.”

“And I’ll even make myself scarce when Con drives up on weekends.”

“Well, maybe he’ll wind up being a lot closer. I’ve been trying to get him to take school more seriously. If he brings his grades up he has a chance at squeaking through admissions.”

Roe raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t he and his brother kind of joined at the hip? Stone doesn’t seem like college material to me.”