Bury Me(71)

“Don’t forget, Tanner supposedly found out two weeks before my accident in the woods that the twins his wife gave birth to eighteen years prior weren’t really his, but the product of an affair she had with his brother, who was locked in a cell in his own prison, right under his nose,” I add, reciting more of the article.

“That’s right,” Mavra replies. “A perfect explanation and one that Nolan could once again confirm for the police, to explain why you started acting so differently two weeks before the night in the woods and why your father suddenly behaved as if he hated you.”

“And then of course we have the night in the woods, when Nolan found me bleeding from the head, on the ground during a thunderstorm,” I continue. “Tanner, already a little off kilter after years of trying to make one daughter take the place of a dead one, lost his mind when his wife admitted the truth and chased me out into the woods. The police wanted to know why he did it, but I just cried and cried. I couldn’t tell them why. I didn’t know if he meant to kill me or just hurt me because he was so angry. And I’d never know since he was dead. Oh God help me, my whole family is dead. I never meant to kill him; you have to believe me, Officers! He was just angry, and he wouldn’t stop coming at me, and I knew if I didn’t do something, he’d push me right down into that water-filled hole!”

I wail, wiping fake tears from my cheeks as Mavra slowly claps her hands together.

“Bravo, Mother, bravo,” she commends me.

She grows quiet again, and I watch the smile fall from her face.

“Just ask, Mavra. Whatever you’re thinking, just ask,” I remind her.

She blows out a breath, her loose lips making the sound of someone blowing a raspberry.

“I know you said you would never lie to me, but did you tell us the truth about our father?” she whispers.

I’ve always wondered why this question has never come up before, from either of my girls. I was honestly shocked that they took my explanation as gospel and just accepted it. I pat Mavra’s knee comfortingly, feeling bad that she’s probably held this question in for thirty years, my decision to finally tell them everything today the only reason she’s finally asking it. I could give her the truth she’s seeking and hope that it wouldn’t make her hate me or look at me differently, or I could stick with what I told them when they were ten years old, even if it’s selfish of me.

“Yes, everything I told you about your father was true,” I confirm. “I tried, I really did, Mavra. I tried for ten years to have a normal life and be a normal person, hiding the biggest part of myself from my husband, and it just became too much for me. It’s true that he left and never looked back when I asked him to go, but don’t blame him. Don’t ever hate him for leaving. He was a good, kind man and a wonderful father to you and Faina. His only fault was always doing anything I asked of him, even if that meant leaving his daughters behind.”

Mavra lets out a relieved sigh, and I reassure myself that I did what I had to do. The truth would only hurt her.

“Tell me again,” I ask, standing in the kitchen with my hands clasped together behind my back.

Nolan stops making a sandwich and turns to face me. “Again? Aren’t you getting tired of hearing this?”

He laughs, wiping his hands on his jeans before walking across the kitchen to stand right in front of me.

“We’ve been married for ten years, Tatiana. You lived through hell and came out stronger than I would have ever believed. You gave birth to our two gorgeous girls, and you took over running Gallow’s Hill all by yourself. You’ve survived all of this and still, you never believe what I tell you.”

He smiles down at me, letting me know he’s not mad at all that I’m asking this question again for probably the hundredth time. Nolan reaches up and brushes a lock of hair away from my face and I clench my teeth, forcing myself not to cringe at his touch.

“Please, one last time, I promise,” I tell him as I stare up into his blue eyes that shine down on me with so much love and devotion that it’s almost hard to believe.

He brings his hands up and holds my face in his hands.

“Only if you ask,” he whispers softly.

“Tell me when you first fell in love with me,” I whisper back.

Nolan replies immediately and without hesitation. “I fell in love with you the first moment I saw you, stuffy dress, pulled-back hair, snobby attitude, and all. I spent two years loving you from afar and it was the best thing I’ve ever done.”