Bury Me(11)

A loud smack echoes from behind the door, and I jump when I hear my mother’s loud gasp of surprise and whimper of pain.

“I did what I had to do to keep this family safe, just like I did eighteen years ago. That girl downstairs is Ravenna. She’s the same good, beautiful, perfect daughter we’ve raised her entire life. I will not let you ruin this family as you tried to do once before. Ravenna is going to be fine as long as you keep your stupid theories to yourself.”

I hear footsteps stomping toward the door, and I race across the living room, dashing into my bedroom just as my parents’ door swings open. Hiding behind my door, I peek out and watch my father storm through the living room and head downstairs. With a few deep breaths to calm my thumping heart, I wait a few minutes before leaving the comfort of my room, giving myself enough time so my mother doesn’t know I heard what they were saying. When I get to my parents’ bedroom doorway, I find my mother sitting on the edge of her bed, wiping tears from her cheeks.

“What’s wrong?” I ask her in concern, even though I know she won’t tell me the truth.

She looks up in surprise and plasters on a fake smile. “Ravenna, I didn’t know you were here. I thought you were going for a walk around the prison.”

Quickly standing, my mother hurries over to the closet, keeping her back to me to hide the misery on her face.

“I was, but I got hungry, so I was going to get a snack from the kitchen,” I lie.

She reaches up to the top shelf of her closet and pulls down one of the many hatboxes stored up there, and I realize she was getting ready to run errands before the argument with my father, judging by the pale blue A-line double-breasted suit jacket and matching knee-length skirt she’s currently wearing. My mother never leaves the prison without dressing properly in a designer suit with matching pillbox hat, white gloves, and pearls. With the hatbox in her hand, she moves back to the bed and sets it on top, lifting the lid to remove the sky blue hat nestled inside.

“I’m heading out to pick up some groceries, but I could fix you a snack before I leave,” she tells me as she sets the hat on top of her head and pins it in place.

“No, that’s okay. Why were you crying?” I ask, trying to bring her focus back to the original issue.

Pulling a pair of white gloves out of the hatbox, she slides them on her slender hands and then walks over to me as I lean against the doorframe. She brings her satin-covered hands up to my face and cups my cheeks in her palms. She stares deeply into my eyes and within seconds I feel uncomfortable, wanting to pull away, run from the room and hide, so she can’t look at me like she’s trying to figure out who I am. I don’t want her to see; I don’t want her to know and the longer she looks, the more she’ll be convinced that the words she spoke to my father have some truth to them, and there really is something wrong with me.

“Don’t worry about me, Ravenna; I’m fine,” she tells me softly. “Just another stressful day at Gallow’s Hill, nothing new.”

She chuckles to give the words lightheartedness, instead of the deeper meaning I know is there.

“I love you, Ravenna,” she whispers. “You’re a good girl, and I love you so much.”

I should be comforted by her words, but they fill me with panic. I feel like she’s only saying this to me because of my father’s threat to her. She’s reminding me who I am to convince herself that everything is fine. That I’m fine and I’m normal, and I’m the same girl she’s raised and loved. I feel like I’ve been craving these words from her forever and that I would do anything to hear them, but it doesn’t make sense. She’s my mother, and she loves me. Hearing her tell me this shouldn’t come as a surprise, and I shouldn’t feel like I don’t deserve her love or her kindness.

My mother runs one gloved hand down over the top of my head and gives me a sad smile before moving around me and leaving the room. As I listen to her heels click against the hardwood floor as she walks through the living room and down the stairs, I close my eyes and let my head thump back against the frame of the door.

“My name is Ravenna Duskin. I’m eighteen years old, I live in a prison, and my parents are lying to me.”





Chapter 5





My body glides easily through the water, my legs kicking harder to push me closer to the wall. Tilting my head to the side on the surface, I take one last huge breath before diving under, flipping over and pushing off the cement side with my feet to send me soaring in the opposite direction.