Burnt Devotion (Imdalind, #5)(4)

It faded to a dimly lit room that I recognized at once and a man who, even though he had changed—even though his hair was in long dreads and his skin more worn, his eyes slightly dimmed—it was still the man who had taught me so much about life and love.

It was still Thom.

I looked at him, the pressure of his hands tight against mine, as I saw him for the first time in centuries. As I saw him for the last time.

I didn’t dare say anything. I didn’t have anything to say. He had heard it all before, felt it all, lived it all. Accordingly, I held his hand, staring into him as the world around him began to shift, as the black of the curse threatened to take me back into the disconnected world that it had trapped me in.

I waited for it to come, watching the grey seep into the world, only to have a courtyard materialize before me, the world waving and blending together as my mind took me to a place that I hadn’t seen in what felt like years—the beautiful, perfect world that Talon and I had created inside our T?uha.

Even though I was sure I hadn’t moved, even though I could still feel Thom’s hand around mine, I could see the sanctuary that our bond had created. I could see every brick, the bench we had spent so much time on, the shadowed body of a man leaning against the wall.

My soul jerked at the apparition, the discolored, shadowed form seeming out of place. I knew at once who it was, even though I knew he shouldn’t be there. That I wasn’t there.

“Talon?” I said his name, my voice soft with longing as I stared at the shadowed shape. I was sure he had turned toward me before the entire scene vanished into smoke, falling to the ground around me like smoke and ash and leaving me staring at Thom’s tear-streaked face, his eyes deep with understanding.

My heart pulsed at seeing him there, torn between two worlds, two realities. I was saddened Talon was gone, my heart throbbing for the return of the T?uha. Yet, I clung to Thom, to the past, and to the last moments I would have with him.

“He will be there, waiting for you,” Thom whispered as he leaned close to me, the brilliant blue of his eyes devouring me. “He’s going to be right there ... and ... and you know who is going to be with him?”

The pulse in my chest became a stab of memories, of reminders of the life we shared, of the life I had so willingly chosen to forget.

Never before had I regretted my decision to forget, not because I had turned my back on a life that had been so good, but because I had turned my back on Thom, a man who, for the first time, I realized, was still mourning the loss of our daughter as I was. He was still filled with pain and agony. We had both chosen to run away, although in different ways.

“Rosaline?” The word dug into me, my back arching with fire and gut-wrenching agony that I had thought I had escaped.

You can’t escape something that is wound so deeply in your soul, however. I knew that now. I knew that in the way Thom’s voice pulled me from the pain of the curse and the way Rosaline’s memory bound us together.

“Yeah, sweetie, she is going to be right there with Talon. She’s been waiting for you, waiting ... for her mommy.”

Everything ached at his promise, the pain from the curse seeming to come back full force as he turned away in his own pain. I gasped at the fire, my body writhing as I continually tried to fight the pain. I struggled against the scream that tried to rip itself out of me, the blackness that wanted to take me away again.

In a way, it would almost be more preferable, but I didn’t want to lose this, lose these last moments. If only I had a choice.

I stared at Thom as my vision began to waiver, the same courtyard from before materializing around me, the same shadowed figure tucked off into a corner. Except, this time, he wasn’t quite as shadowed, he wasn’t quite as far away.

He stood, his body distorted as though I was looking at him through a fog, like I was only seeing him through a veil of life and death. That was exactly what it was, I realized. He was dead, and I was not. Not yet. He was standing there, ready to take me into his arms, ready to hold me in death as he had in life.

“She will be there,” Thom’s voice came to me as if he was still sitting right there, but I didn’t see him anymore.

I couldn’t seem to look away from the figure before me. Part of me desperately hoped he would step through the fog to take me, while part of me dreaded the moment when he would.

“Do you remember that big smile she had after she lost her first tooth? How she would always push her tongue through the little gap?”

I knew Thom wanted me to answer, but I wasn’t sure I could. I wasn’t sure I wanted to. I couldn’t look away from Talon, my heart a thunder in my chest as I waited for him to do something. His shadowed form seemed more and more ominous with each moment that passed.

“She’s not responding…” Thom’s voice was broken, but until right then, I hadn’t cared. I had only cared about the man before me, about what he was there to do, even if it scared me.

“You have to choose.” The voice cut through the fog, deep and heavy. It resounded through my head in such a way that I knew it had come from inside me. While the deep, haunted rumble of the sound was unfamiliar, it was still comforting, its message clear.

Talon stood before me, shrouded by death. I could choose to be with him. I could choose to die.

I jerked at the realization, at how quickly it came, my confusion rumbling at what it meant.