Burned by Passion(32)
Kira let out a shaky sigh. “That was still no cause for what you did,” she said firmly, ignoring the tingle of awareness creeping up her arm at the touch of his warm, sensual lips. A thrilling sensation like she hadn’t felt in ages overshadowed even the dull ache that still lingered on her frame and she bit on her lip, tugging her hand from his intimate touch.
“There’s no excuse, Blake. You knew how much I’d struggled to put that night behind me. You’ll never understand what it meant for me to sink to such behavior. It scared me to think what I could be capable of and it made me realize I didn’t know myself as well as I thought I did.”
She saw Blake was about to interrupt, but she continued, “Anyway you shouldn’t have bothered. Because if your motive was to make me break up with Terry, I’d already done that. In fact, I’d already told him I wasn’t going through with the wedding when your gift arrived. I guess all of that put together made him go off the deep end.”
“Don’t justify what he did, Kira,” Blake snarled. “Knowing that he dared lay even a finger on you.”
“I’ll be fine,” Kira murmured, her cheeks flushing at his protective tone. She looked down in surprise to see their fingers were entwined. Why did she feel suddenly so shy...and why couldn’t she meet his intensely blazing grey eyes?
“Kira,” he prompted softly. “Why did you break up with Terry?”
Kira groaned inwardly. Trust Blake to pick up on that detail. And then she wondered what his reaction would be if she told him about the baby? Would his so-called marriage proposal still stand or would he feel more trapped? Because she knew he’d asked her to marry him only out of guilt. Why else if it wasn’t his way of trying to make up for what he’d done? Kira wasn’t stupid. She didn’t need him marrying her out of pity.
But he was waiting for her reply so she gave him one. “Terry and I had too many secrets between us. On my part at least. I couldn’t honestly go on with it knowing what I’d done, cheating on him while we were together. He was so sure I was saving myself up for him and when he found out that I’d...” She shook her head with a grimace at the memory. “I couldn’t keep living a lie.”
“And it was a lie because...?”
Kira’s teeth sank deeper into her bottom lip at Blake’s persistence. What did he want her to do? Confess that she was in love with him and that’s why she couldn’t go through with marrying Terry? How could she open herself up like that when her insecurities still flashed powerfully within her?
“Please...I don’t think I need this right now,” she gasped, her hand covering her face. It was just too much at once and she felt crowded in by everything; Terry’s shocking eruption, her fear of losing her baby and then Blake making an appearance with reconciliation on his mind.
To his credit, he backed down at once. “I understand. You’ve only just started to get better and need more rest. I’ll let you be for now, Kira. But think about what I said.” He took her hand and kissed it again. “If you think it’s for the best then let’s forget the past. Let’s erase every bad thing that’s happened between us. I simply want you in my life and I’m hoping that somehow, you’ll start to trust what you feel. I want us to be together more than anything.”
I don’t know what I feel, thought a troubled Kira. She told herself she had every reason to hate and distrust Blake. He was a smooth talker who could get a nun to strip off her panties for him. He could have any woman he wanted yet here he was, pleading for her hand. Why was it so hard for her to believe a man like him would want someone like her? Why did she keep fighting the urge to give him a chance? In her heart she longed to give in to the excitement of being with a gorgeous man who desired her with such intensity, and whom she desired in equal proportion. She had two choices: she could keep lying to herself or she could give them a chance. But not solely for her own sake this time. She had someone more important to think about now. She needed to do what was best for the baby, no matter what.
“I meant it about my proposal,” Blake was saying after a pause. Kira’s heart began to thud like a sledge hammer. “You don’t need to give me an answer now. We’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other and maybe that would help you decide that being my wife might not be so bad.”
He suddenly flashed that white, gorgeous grin that lit up his beautiful grey eyes and reminded Kira of her first ever fantasy of Blake. And then that one time he’d claimed her and she’d felt the heat of his passion within her deepest core. Could it be possible that something with permanence could rise out of one reckless act of passion?
She felt the pangs of doubt too strongly to make up her mind now. She told herself she was relieved when Blake rose to leave. Stamping down the treacherous twinge of longing for him to stay, she watched him reach the door. And then before she could stop herself she blurted out the words that had been eating at her all along.
“Blake.” He turned around expectantly and she chewed hard on her lip. “I still don’t know the real reason why you’d want to marry me. I don’t understand.”
“I really thought I’d mentioned it,” he said teasingly, and then his grey eyes sobered when he added in a raw voice, “Because I love you, Kira. And because I realize that life wouldn’t be the same without you in it.”