Burn It Up(48)

Casey swallowed, his ever-hopeful dick growing curious about the invitation. “I could.”

She sat up, hugging her knees. “If this drama with James calms down after the meeting, I guess everything might go back to normal. You can sleep in your own bed again. I can start looking for a place.”

“You know the Churches don’t mind if you stay on for a few more weeks.”

“Yeah, Christine said so. It’s awful nice of them.”

“And I’m happy to help you move again.” If you could even call it moving. They’d gotten everything, including the baby’s stuff, from her old place to Three C in just one carload each. It had taken all of three hours from the time he’d showed up to help pack to when she’d folded the last of her clothes into the borrowed dresser.

“You get a place of your own,” he said, “and we’re going to need to hook you up with some things. Furniture, microwave, TV . . . Not that I’m one to talk. My apartment looks like a squat.”

“We can go Dumpster diving together,” she said.

“Deal.”

Neither spoke for a long moment, though both gazes lingered until Abilene bit her lip, looking away.

“What?” he asked, and gave her toes another squeeze.

“Are we . . . Did you want to do more than hang out, maybe?”

“I told myself yesterday was a one-off,” he said, but when her face fell, he hurried to take it back. “Only so I wouldn’t get my hopes up about it ever happening again. I mean, I don’t see the harm in it. But if you thought it was a bad idea . . .”

“Not if we both know where we stand. What do you . . . What does it mean to you?” she asked. “Be honest.”

“I like you,” he told her, point-blank. “I’ve liked you from the second I saw you. I liked you when the hormones made you a psycho, and I like you at three a.m. with baby puke in your hair. I think you deserve better than me, and more than I can promise anybody, but I won’t pretend like I don’t want to be with you, in whatever way’s on offer. What about you? What does us fooling around mean to you?”

“I’ve just missed feeling all those things, I guess. And in a selfish way, with everything as scary as it has been, I want it even more, if only to feel something nice for a change. Mercy’s small now,” she said, gaze drifting to the crib. “She won’t remember any of what’s been happening—not the moving around, not any of this business with James, not anything that’s changed between you and me. In a couple years I’m going to have to be careful of how close I let men get, so it’s not just me who’d be in danger of getting attached.” She looked back to Casey. “But for right now, I think it’s okay.” She sounded different, since that phone call. Even tired and rattled, her voice was as strong as he’d ever heard it. “Right now,” she said, “I think it’s what I need. I don’t need promises of forever; I’m up to my eyeballs in commitment already. But to feel like more than just a mom for a few nights, for however long it might last . . . ?”

He felt his pulse spike.

“Can we be that way?” she asked softly. “Just make each other feel good?” Her gaze moved down his body, lighting a fire in his belly.

“We can be whatever way you like.”

“Come over here, then. Remind me what I’ve been missing out on.”

Casey stood from the bed, peeled off his socks, ditched his hoodie. He kept his jeans on and climbed under the covers.

“Can I hold you?” he whispered.

Her reply had an edge to it that he’d never caught before. Mischief. “You can do anything you want.”

Casey swallowed, blood pumping quicker. “I want to kiss you, then.”

She shifted to lie on her side and he did the same. As his mouth met hers, he eased his knee between her legs and drew her close by the waist. He wouldn’t rush her, wouldn’t get pushy, but it felt nice, taking even these small liberties. Made it feel like she was his. His to touch as he desired, his to cater to. He cradled her head, thumb tracing her ear, and kissed her deeper. A surprised huff of a breath from her nose tickled his cheek, and he gave her more of his tongue. Let her feel his hunger. Let her know she stirred more than gentle feelings in him, more than affection and deference. Deeply, darkly primal urges.

She wanted him back. He felt it in the way her fingers gripped his shirt, and he could hear it in her breaths—tiny mewling noises now, helpless little notes of wonder. He slid his hand to her butt and tugged her closer as his hips began to move.

She broke their mouths apart, already panting.

“All right?”

“I can’t believe how . . . how much you make me feel.” She swallowed audibly. “Up until yesterday, I’d forgotten what it was even like, wanting somebody this way.”

Casey felt something similar, something he couldn’t quite articulate. He’d never set his entire sex drive aside, but this . . . This, he hadn’t felt in ages. He’d wanted women, and badly, but not the way he wanted Abilene. This felt big. Felt huge to a man who’d gotten in the habit of settling for the best offer available.

There had been no yearning in his life in recent years. No wanting, aching, waiting, and finally tasting. Only stumbling into beds and lives. Until now.