Brutally Beautiful(3)

Unclasping my first aid kit, I tore through the bag looking for anything that I could use.

Tearing off the cap of a bottle of peroxide, I poured it straight over my hands, letting it spill all over my lap. “DAMN, that HURTS!” I screamed out when the cold liquid flowed into my cuts, making my body explode with white-hot pain. I bit my teeth into the soft leather of the front seat headrest to silence my cries.

Jen pulled out a few butterfly bandages, and when the stinging of the peroxide settled to a dull ache, I began methodically cleaning and sealing my lacerations, biting down on my lip hard when the pain was too much. It was a freaking miracle that there were no deep puncture wounds, but still, this was enough. It was all enough…I’d had enough. I could feel how bruised and swollen both my eyes sockets were, and my lip felt as if it was split in half. Thank God, it wasn’t. When the reality of the situation hit me, I looked up at her, “We need new names, don’t we? And we need to get rid of my car.”

We gave each other a measured stare. Without a doubt, we both knew there was no fixing this situation. We did what we had to do, and now we had to move on. There was no going back, and truthfully, I was so relieved. I inhaled deeply, and then slowly puffed out my breath. Even though it hurt like mad, I smiled. I was free.

Her lips curled into a smile to match mine. “I want to be Bree Masterson and I want to be at least five years younger than I really am. Think I can still pass for 28?”

My laughter made me grimace and moan in pain. “Sure, just clean off all the blood, that’ll take at least two to three years off you.” After scrubbing my face with a few scrunched up alcohol swabs I found, I slowly pulled on clean clothes. “I like the name Lainey. Lainey Nevaeh. I don’t care about my age though. I’ll stay 32.” It was the only name that kept repeating itself in my head as I cleaned myself. It meant something to me, although I didn’t think anybody else would have understood.

“Ah, yeah, because you never were like any normal teen and roasted yourself in the sun, you could still pass for twenty-one. Why the last name Never?” she asked slipping her legs into a clean pair of jeans in exchange for her bloodied ones.

“Not the word never. N. E. V. A. E. H, it’s heaven spelled backwards. I don’t know, maybe because, I’m not in that hell anymore. ” Pulling a compact mirror out of my purse, I tried to cover up the redness of my swollen eyes as much as I could. “There’s no use with the make-up, is there? Let’s just get a few drinks and find a place to sleep. We are so deep in the Adirondacks that we should be fine here for a few days.”

The bright pink neon light that flashed the bar’s name read McSmexymelts, with a dancing neon ass-shaking animated sign next to it. “Holy crud, Sam…ah damn…I meant…Lainey, we’re really doing this, aren’t we?”

Trying not to limp too much with the burning sting from the cuts and scrapes on my legs as they rubbed against the material of my pants, I made my way to the entrance of the bar. “Yeah, Bree, we are really going to have a drink in a strip bar. I don’t care how many lap dances I see or how many snail trails decorate the poles. We both need a drink after all of that.” I waved my hands in the air in the direction of the dark patch of highway we had just come from.

She touched my elbow before I could reach for the door, a slow smile building on her battered face. “No, I meant, we’re really done with it all. We’re not going back, are we?”

“Freaking LOOK at me. I will never go back there. I don’t care what I just gave up. None of that stuff is worth my freedom and my sanity. To hell with them all,” I said, meaning every word. Then I laughed. I laughed and smiled for my freedom. Hell, I wanted to break out into a cheer, but I needed that drink first.