Broken Juliet(29)

I say, “Swap,” at exactly the same time Ethan says, “Stay.” Then to make sure we truly embarrassed ourselves, we do it again, louder.

Ethan and I stare each other down. It’s the first time we’ve really looked at each other in the past eight and a half weeks. My face and body flush with fierce heat.

It doesn’t escape my attention that Ethan’s ears have also gone bright pink.

“Fine. Whatever,” he says, waving his hand. “Swap me with Connor. Do whatever she wants.”

“Oh, no, by all means, keep Holt in my group. What he wants is far more important.”

“I don’t want this,” he says as he steps closer, “but we both know it’s for the best.”

“Are we still talking about the acting groups? Because if not, I know no such thing.”

Erika rolls her eyes and grabs her folder off the desk. “I don’t have time for this. Give me your decision by the end of today, or the groups stand, unchanged.”

Ethan and I are too busy fuming to even notice her leaving.

He’s too close. My body’s involuntary craving to touch him makes me even angrier.

“Just take the swap, Ethan. You know we can’t work together.”

“Yeah, and it’s real convenient you get to work with Connor instead.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Like you have no clue. Tell me, how long did he wait to hit on you after he found out we’d broken up? Every time I see him, he’s all over you.”

“Connor’s a friend. That’s all. Unlike other people, he actually cares about me.”

“Bullshit. He cares about the possibility of you riding his cock. You’re just too naive to see it.”

“Whatever he cares about is none of your business! You broke up with me, remember? Just because you don’t want me doesn’t mean other men don’t.”

His expression clouds over, and his voice drops to a harsh whisper. “My breaking up with you had nothing to do with how much I wanted you. You know that.”

“You said that you loved me, then you dumped me. Even to a crazy person, that seems nuts.”

I guess this is the part where we fight about our breakup. I’d predicted it would have happened sooner, but I’m ready to come out, guns a-blazing.

“Just admit you broke up with me to protect yourself, Ethan. End of story.”

“That’s bullshit, and you know it. If we’d stayed together, I would’ve hurt you—”

“News flash! You hurt me anyway!”

“I would have hurt you more!”

“So you broke up in the hopes that we could have a chance at being friends, and yet this is the first time we’ve said two words to each other in over two months.”

He lets out a bitter laugh. “We can’t handle being friends.”

“There you go again, making assumptions about what I can and can’t handle.”

“Oh, really? You think you could deal with us getting close again? Fine. Let’s workshop that.”

His expression turns predatory, and he takes a step closer. I step back.

“Do you seriously believe we could pretend we don’t want more?” He advances. I retreat. “Just imagine it. ‘Hey, Cassie. Wanna have lunch?’” He’s struggling to keep his expression casual. “How about we study together? Let’s run lines.”

My back hits the wall. He’s so close, we’re almost touching.

“Aw, you’re feeling bad? Let’s hug. That’s what friends do, right?”

His body heat is scorching. My skin is crawling with electricity.

He puts one hand on the wall beside my head and leans down. His voice is quiet and dark. “Once we get our arms around each other, we won’t want to let go. It will be an avalanche of ‘kiss me,’ ‘touch me,’ ‘put your hand down my pants.’ ‘Take off your clothes, so I can be inside you.’”

“Stop.” I can’t breathe.

“That’s the problem. We wouldn’t stop. We’d keep going and all of a sudden we’d be neck-deep in a relationship in which my issues would f*cking strangle us all over again. Would that be less torturous than what we’re going through now? Because I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have none of you than little pieces that just keep me wanting more.”

I take a breath and look him in the eye. “So then why the fuss about swapping with Connor?”

His expression softens, and he steps back. “Because the only thing that would kill me more than touching you right now would be watching someone else do it.”

“You gave up your right to decide that. This time the decision’s mine, and since I can’t have you, I choose Connor.”

I don’t realize how I’ve worded it until it’s out of my mouth, and by then, it’s too late.

He looks like I’ve punched him. “Of course you do. Fine. I’ll go and tell Erika.”

He grabs his bag and heads to the door. When he reaches it, he turns back to me.

“Just out of interest, if I have to do a love scene with Zoe in my new group, would you care?”

Now it’s my turn to feel like I’ve been punched but I don’t let him see.