Broken(43)

Scooting on the windowsill, Jocelyn pulled her knees against her chest and stared up at the moon, wishing she could turn back time when she didn’t look at everyone she met with such distrust. Didn’t constantly look over her shoulder. Didn’t cry herself to sleep most nights wondering why she was dealt such a devastating hand.

At this moment, she’d give anything to be the girl she’d once been, so carefree and full of hope and love in her heart and to a time when all she wanted was to be Mrs. Cade Devlin. They’d started out as friends even though she knew he had a bit of a crush on her. To Jocelyn, Cade had been like a little brother, and his efforts to steer their relationship into a more romantic direction had been amusing at first, but then one hot summer, she’d recognized him as a man.

From that point on, she’d tried to avoid him, but Cade wasn’t having it. He’d convinced her to meet him by the pond one balmy night. She’d never forget it.

“What’s this all about, Cade?” she asked when she saw a picnic dinner set out on a blanket. “You said you had something important to discuss.”

He gave her a lopsided grin. Cade had the kind of smile that drove women of all ages to distraction. “I couldn’t think of any other way to get you alone because you’ve been avoiding me these past few days.”

The last thing she was going to do was admit how hot she’d gotten seeing him shoveling manure with his top off. The way his sinewy frame glistened with sweat, defining all the muscles and hard planes of his body. He was only eighteen years old, still a boy by a lot of people’s standards, but seeing his tanned six-foot-two, broad-shouldered body screamed otherwise.

Jocelyn crossed her arms across her chest and took a couple steps back, putting as much space between them as possible without making it too obvious. “I haven’t been avoiding you, Cade. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” A trill of nervous laughter tore from her throat.

“You’re a terrible liar, Jos. Did you like seeing me working the other day?” He wiggled his eyebrows knowingly, his grin widening. “Yes, I noticed you watching me.” Cade moved closer until she could practically feel his breath against her face. “And I liked it.”

“Don’t.” She turned her head away from him, not wanting to notice how chiseled his face was, or the cute way his nose wiggled when he spoke.

“Jocelyn, you know how I feel about you. I’ve been in love with you since I was thirteen.”

“You can’t possibly know what love is, Cade, you’re only eighteen.”

His smile dropped and eyes narrowed to icy blue slits. “I may be young, but it doesn’t mean I don’t know what love is. You’re my first thought when I wake and the last when I go to sleep every night.”

“But I’m twenty-one.”

“Whooptie-f*cking-doo. A whole three years older. When you’re eighty I’ll be seventy-seven. In the grand scheme of things, do you think it matters?”

When put like that he had a point, but she was crazy for even entertaining the idea of being with him. “You’re talking as if we’re going to get married.”

“If I had my way, it will be forever.”

“You’re nuts.” Jocelyn shook her head, turning her back to him.

“Only for you.” He placed his hands on her shoulders. “I know I’m young, but you don’t have to be thirty to know your own heart and I know you’re the woman I want. And I think you want me, too.” He placed a kiss against the side of her neck.

A wave of pure delight zoomed up her spine. Her mind said no, pull away, but her body yelled yes! “This is wrong,” she groaned.