Broken(21)

“But you haven’t stopped loving her have you?”

“Stone…” Cade growled.

Stone put his hands up. “Okay, maybe I didn’t word that correctly, but don’t you think you’re being too rash, little brother. I think there’s much more to this story than we’re aware of.”

“Like what? Maybe she’s gotten a taste of her own medicine in New York City and she’s come home to lick her wounds.”

Stone shook his head. “No. This definitely had to do with your hostility. After you left the dinner table so abruptly, Jocelyn ran off and I think she was crying.”

“Am I supposed to give a damn?” Cade was glad she suffered too. Well, maybe not glad but it was gratifying to know she was capable of feeling shame. She should have been embarrassed at the way she’d treated the family and especially him. Maybe she wasn’t a complete bitch, but he’d never forget what she’d said to him for as long as he lived.

“Yes, you are! You two used to mean something to each other.”

“The key word here being used to.”

“And I believe there’s still something there or else you wouldn’t be acting this way.”

And therein lay the problem. He hated that Stone was right. Jocelyn’s words came back to him, sending a shudder through his body.

“You’re not good enough for me.”

After giving his body, heart and soul to her only to hear those words was like a deep soul-wrenching blow that he doubted he’d recover from. The realization hit him hard. He’d been doing so well these past few years, but all of his efforts to move on with his life and all the strides he’d made had evaporated the moment she stepped foot on Devlin Ranch.

Shortly after the break of their relationship, he hadn’t cared whether he lived or died. She’d been his world. All his plans of the future had been based around them being together. In his mind they were made for each other and to have such a rude awakening was a painful cross to bear.

He’d started drinking heavily; often getting so drunk he could barely stand. Some nights he’d be so damn drunk he’d pass out where he stood and sometimes wake up in the damndest places. And along with those drunken nights came plenty of trouble along with it. Bar fights and jail time. He’d damn near gotten a DUI but Stone had called in some favors with a friend of his at the sheriff’s department. But his self destructive behavior didn’t end with alcohol.

There were the women. Before he’d went on his sexathon, Jocelyn had been the only woman he’d been with, but in an attempt to erase her from memory, he’d slept with so many women he’d lost count. He’d been with tall, skinny, black, white, Latina and Asian ones. Ugly and pretty ones. When it came to *, he didn’t discriminate. It didn’t matter what they looked like as long as he had a warm body to ease the ache within his soul. Nine times out of ten he couldn’t remember their names the next morning. Cade was lucky he hadn’t caught a communicable disease or something worse from one of the random partners he’d encountered. It wasn’t until his brothers had staged an intervention and beat the hell out of him, literally, did he recognize his wild antics had only been a mere band-aid over a gaping wound.

“You just don’t understand.”

“Then help me understand. You never told me what happened that night exactly—only bits and pieces that don’t quite make sense. Please tell me. If you get it off your chest, maybe you can finally heal.”

Cade knew the only way he’d be able to get Stone off his back was to open up, no matter how painful. It was either that or be hounded to death. He clenched his jaw, tightening the muscles until it ached before he was able to speak. “You already know most of it. She went to that party in Dallas, and never came back.”