Bring Down the Stars (Beautiful Hearts Duet #1)(79)

He shook his head, a wry twist of his usual smile on his lips.

“You know, for a second there, with her tonight, I was happy. No girl’s ever said she was in love with me. I’ve never said it. I’ve never felt it. I never thought to take things that far because it’s not easy. It’s fucking hard work. And work was never my thing. It’s your thing. You do the work and I reap the benefits.” He clinked his beer bottle to my coffee mug. “And I don’t know why you do it.” He rose to his feet. “I’m going to bed.”

“Connor…”

“It’s fine, Wes. I’m not going to tell her. Everything’s going to change once we step on that plane, anyway.”

“Yeah, it will.”

You and I are going to change. Maybe irrevocably.

Connor gave me a little salute with his beer bottle and took it with him to his room.

I slumped down at the table, my head in my hands. A few of my poem’s words swam into focus while three words screamed across my mind.

She loves you, she loves you, she loves you.

“She loves me.”

If I reached out and took that love, it would blow up three lives. Connor signed up to go to war to prove he was worthy of love. Autumn gave him her heart and body. I couldn’t see past next week, but I knew the truth of right here and now. I was the one who fucked with their hearts, and if I didn’t fix it, I’d lose them both.





Autumn



“Hello? Young lady?”

I blinked and whipped my gaze to the customer at the counter. “I’m sorry, what?”

The woman fumed and shook her pastry bag at me. “I wanted a bear claw. This is not a bear claw.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I’ll fix it.”

I took the tongs and a small pastry bag to grab the last bear claw in the case.

Three days. They’re shipping out in three days.

The bear claw slipped out of my grasp and hit the ground, where it broke into pieces.

“Well, isn’t that fantastic,” the customer snapped. “That was the last one, wasn’t it?”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m sorry, I can’t…”

I covered my face with my hands, trying to hold back the rising wave of emotion. It crashed down and I bolted, rushing past Edmond to the back room.

“Ma chère?”

In the back, I sank onto an overturned flour bucket, hunched over and hugged my arms, sucking in deep breaths.

“Philippe, take the counter,” I heard Edmond say. Then he was crouched down by my feet.

“Ma fille, qu’est-ce qu’il y a?”

“I’m sorry, Edmond. I can’t concentrate. I’m a mess.”

“You’re no mess. Tell me, why the tears?”

“Connor and Weston are shipping out in a few days, for training, and then to the Middle East.”

“I know Weston. Mon homme tranquille. Connor is your love, non?”

I literally didn’t know how to answer. Since the morning Connor slipped out of my bedroom, we’d hardly spoken. A few texts here and there, telling me he was preparing for deployment, putting me right back to where I had been before he’d left for Basic Training—in the limbo of not knowing where we stood or how he felt. The love I’d given wasn’t lost, but stuffed in his back pocket as he walked out of my bedroom. I had no idea if he carried it with him or had thrown it away.

He’s scared too, I thought. You put your heart on the line, but he’s risking his life.

It was a hollow thought, but all I had.

“Yes, Connor’s my boyfriend,” I said finally.

“A grave situation,” Edmond said. “I fear for him, then. And for my quiet man. And for my thoughtful girl who cares for them both.”

Waves of fear and love and pain rose up again, trying to drown me. Edmond de Guiche’s kindness was a life buoy. I could easily fall into his comforting embrace, clutch at him, cry my eyes out and ride the storm.

Instead, I sucked in a breath and pressed it all down.

“I’m scared for them, and it made me emotional. That’s all.”

Edmond frowned under his thick black mustache. “That is all? That is everything.”

Phil poked his head in from the front. “Mr. de Guiche? Things are getting rough out here.”

“Do you need to take the day?” Edmond asked me.

“No, no, I’m fine.” I dabbed my eyes on my apron. “I can do this.”

I had to do this. I couldn’t afford any missed pay.

Before we headed back out, Edmond stopped me and put his hands on my shoulders.

“You have a thousand hearts’ worth of love to give. A thousand tears may fall when one heart breaks. But never cry for shame.” He cupped my chin in his thick hand. “Even love lost was well-spent.”

I nodded and smiled, but silently I rejected his comfort. Love lost was only that… lost. I’d learned nothing from my failed relationship with Mark, except that I was gullible enough to keep trying. To keep loving, even if it hurt. Edmond would say that was a strength. From where I sat, on an overturned bucket with tear-streaked cheeks and an aching heart, I only felt lost too.





Edmond went home at three, leaving Phil and me to finish the day and close at five. At quarter of, Weston walked in the door.