Breathe In (Just Breathe, #1)(53)

Nathan and Jared have been seeing each other more, but they haven’t official declared that they’re dating. I’m curious to see if they take things farther this time with their relationship.

Being the non-couple of the group, Joe and I have started to become more like friends, especially during the weekends when we’re actively avoiding the sounds of sex coming from our friends’, particularly when they don’t stay in their assigned rooms. Joe is the first straight guy that I feel comfortable around. He and I have a lot in common with our personalities and openly discuss a wide variety of topics, including business. I, of course, still leave out a lot of details about my family and past, and he doesn’t ask, which is fine by me. I’m not sure if he’s being respectful or if information has been disclosed by my friends. I’m hoping that it’s not the latter.

Joe and I have spent some time learning each other’s level of martial arts mastery and spar. I can tell Joe is holding back when we fight, and I’m grateful. Not that I can’t handle the sparing, but there have been a few close encounters that have caused our full bodies to touch for more than just a few seconds. Whenever our bodies come into contact that much, I become a little distracted. He’s a handsome, sexy man. What woman wouldn’t get distracted being that close to him from time to time?

Today, Maggie and I just had our monthly in-person meeting for Raven Media. Everything is running smoothly, and with needing less time to talk business, we’re able to chat more about personal stuff just between us girls. I’m excited to have my friend back — not that I really lost her, but more because she’s my only girlfriend and there are certain things I just don’t discuss with Jared — somethings you can only discuss with another woman.

Trying to break the ice, Maggie pries, “So, what’s going on between you and Joe?”


I look at her quizzically, first because I’m confused by her question, and second because I seriously can’t believe she’s asking. “What are you talking about?”

“I swear there’s chemistry between you two . . . ” she nudges.

“No. Don’t even start,” I warn.

Looking genuinely shocked at my response, Maggie replies, “Seriously? Nothing? Why not? He’s cute. He’s available. He’s . . . .”

“He’s . . . a . . . friend. Nothing more,” I enunciate each word for her to clearly grasp the concept.

She tries to refute my declaration by adding, “Why can’t you be open to the possibility?”

“There is no possibility of anything other than a friendship. You know that. We’ve been through this with several times now, Mags,” I insist, steaming a little.

“Ok, fine. I just don’t understand why you don’t want to be happy,” she pleas with concern.

“I am happy. I’m happy with how I choose to live my life, and I’m happy that you are happy with how you choose to live yours. I just wish that you would be happy for me too,” I explain honestly.

“I am happy for you . . . if you are really happy.” Maggie hangs her head a little. “He likes you, you know?” she suddenly throws in to stoke the fire more.

“Mags, please,” I whine with mild irritation at her decision to press the issue.

“That’s all I wanted to say,” she confesses.

Part of me wants to believe her and I’m oddly flattered knowing I’ve caught his interest.

“I see him like I see Jared or Nathan. Just friends,” I return, hoping to seal the vault to that topic forever.

I’m not interested in a relationship, and I still don’t think I ever be. If, and this is a really big if, I ever changed my mind, Maggie would be the first person to know aside from Jared. I just can’t bring myself to let anyone in like that.

There is sexual tension between Joe and I, I’ll admit that, but only to myself. Yes, it seems to be building a little bit more, but it’s only lust, a physical desire. As much as I want to put out that fire, I still refuse to break any of my own rules. I’m not sure to what extent Maggie means that Joe likes me, but to whatever degree that is, it would just make things weirder if we did do anything.

“I have a confession to make,” Maggie adds, still holding her head low, barely peeking up at me with just her eyes.

“What?” I say, suddenly nervous about the subject of her confession.

What now? What is it that she wants to tell me?

“I . . . um . . . ” Maggie searches for words.

“You didn’t hint to Joe that he might have a chance with me, did you?” I demand while trying to remain calm.

“What? No. God, no,” she confirms.

Her response validates it’s truth. I know she didn’t when she says it. Maggie is a horrible liar.

“I . . . um . . .” she searches how to tell me something.

I cringe, not knowing where she’s going.

She obviously sees the panic in my face and blurts, “I told Henry about us.” Her face reddens and her eye bounce between my face and the floor.

I sit frozen for what feels like hours. Did I just hear her correctly? Did she just admit that she’s told Henry about her and me? She’s never told any boyfriend about us and our sexual encounters. My eyes begin to sting a little, so I flicker my eyelids a few times. I must have stopped blinking.