Breathe In (Just Breathe, #1)(45)



I choose not to respond and take Sadie’s leash from Jared, then head over to Maggie and Henry. I’m relieved when Maggie and Henry don’t say a word about the dress and what had just happened. From the looks of it, they didn’t see or hear any of it.

Looking at her phone as if she’s been here in reality this whole time, Maggie announces, “We should be heading over for the movie.”

I won’t admit it openly, but the romantic comedy is actually very good. I don’t mind those movies. I just don’t feel comfortable watching them with a guy whom I’m attracted to, a guy I can’t have sex with, but part of me is curious about what it would be like, a guy who is openly flirting with me, and a guy who is friends with the guy my best friend is dating. The thought of sleeping with him enters my mind. Maybe if I just get it out of my system I’ll be fine. I’ve never been really impressed with any of the guys I’ve slept with, so maybe the same thing would happen with him. However, what if it’s better than I expect? Or, what if things got weird because it is or isn’t and then I have to be around him all the time because our friends eventually get married. No. I need to control this. I need to control myself. We’re friendly and that’s all it will ever be. Just friends.

Back at the condo, Nathan starts setting up his new grill for dinner. Jared and Joe are helping Nathan and Maggie and Henry are on the couch cuddling and talking. I feed Sadie and take her out for a walk, wanting some distance and personal space before helping with dinner. Deciding to take a longer walk than usual, I notice Sadie is moving slowly towards the end. She must be tired from the day. I sit on a bench along Ocean Avenue as Sadie stands with her front paws on the bench enjoying me scratching her behind her ears.

My phone chimes, so I take it out of my pocket to read the text that just came in from Jared, “I can see you!”

I wave my hand in the air without turning around.

“I see you waving! You okay?” he writes back.

“I’m fine. Just enjoying the view,” I text with a smiley emoticon face.

“I think the grill is good to go,” Jared mentions.

I giggle at the thought that it took two gay men and one straight guy to figure out a grill this whole time while I was out with Sadie. I can understand why Jared and Nathan have a challenge with a machine like that because they’ve never used one, but Joe? Well, I guess they don’t really do any cooking or grilling themselves in high society.

“Sounds good. On my way back,” I reply and push send.

Back at the condo, Jared, Nathan and Joe seem a bit surprised at the fact that we need to wait for the grill to heat up enough before cooking. They literally just turned the thing on about five minutes before I came in. It takes all the strength I can muster to stifle any kind of laughter at their innocence and not to comment. This is technically their first barbecue. I suggest that they help prep the food while it warms. We make grass-fed burgers stuffed with feta cheese and spinach, cut potatoes into wedges to be roasted with garlic, sea salt and oil, make a quinoa and cranberry salad, a salad with fresh strawberries and a strawberry vinaigrette, and chocolate mousse with fresh, handmade whipped cream. We add a dish with extra toppings for the burgers including pickles, olives, fresh fried onions, tomatoes, onions, and pepperoncini.


Everyone sits at Nathan’s dinning room table, eating, sharing stories, joking and laughing for several hours. At one point during the meal, I sit back and watch how naturally everyone gets along and enjoys each other’s company. It feels like our little family is growing which makes me happy and sad at the same time. I smile at a comment Henry makes as I glance around the table. Locking eyes with Joe, I get the distinct feeling he knows what’s going through my head as he gives me a comforting smirk. I need to make sure I don’t show my feelings outwardly.

Stuffed, we wait a little before having dessert. Everyone helps clean up the table and food before changing into pajamas and heading to the couches for a night of board games. Maggie and Henry sit on the love seat side, Jared and Nathan sit in the middle of the couch. Joe takes a spot on the chaise end closest to me. He offers several times to switch seats, but I’m happy to sit on the floor with Sadie while playing. I’ve got a pillow under my butt, my back is against the chaise and I’ve got Sadie’s head resting on my lap. I’m content.

Playing for hours, the sun had already set by the end of dinner, a few of my friends appear to be getting sleepy. Most of us didn’t even bother to eat dessert. Nathan and Jared call it a night first, but I know they’re off to have sex. About ten minutes later, Maggie and Henry venture into the third bedroom while Joe and I are left to ourselves in the living room.

Breaking the silence, I figure now would be a good time to get to know Joe a little more. I shift onto the middle of the couch and Sadie places herself between Joe and me before I begin my mild interrogation.

“How many are in your family?” I ask quietly.

With a devious grin, Joe states, “For every question you ask, I get to ask one too.”

Pondering my options, I agree. I doubt he’ll ask too many questions that I don’t want to answer and if he does, I just won’t response.

Smiling, Joe questions, “Do you want the short description or the long description of my family.”

I pause to think for a moment, a little suspicious of his long description, “Whichever you prefer sharing.”

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