Breathe In (Just Breathe, #1)(156)



I can’t help but smile at his comment. “Goodnight, Joe,” I breathe out.





Forty One


Three days after the bridal shower and the interesting night with Joe, I’ve been intensely focused on work when I’m not helping Maggie with wedding matters. My excitement about seeing Joe tonight, since all we’ve been able to do is talk and text, is quickly squashed before noon. I just found out that he is going back to New York for business and his date of return is unknown.

I’m starting to wonder if my decision to sleep with him is a good idea. I want him. There’s no doubt about that. However, at every turn, the chance of me allowing myself to give in, break a rule, there seems to be either a warning sign or an obstacle hindering it from occurring. Maybe I’m not supposed to sleep with him. Maybe I need to hold fast to my rules and do my best to satisfy my itch some other way. I’m so confused and don’t know what to do.

The Fourth of July is just two days away and the days seem to be moving extremely slow, even with the mountain of work for business and the wedding. My attention is easily pulled away from work by my sexual need and I find myself masturbating at least three times a day. I feel like I have A.D.D.. Last night when I was with Maggie and Henry, I was seriously contemplating the idea of just having a three-way with them. Okay, I’d most likely would have just f*cked Maggie and let Henry watch. It scares me that I would even consider the option because I’m so horny and can’t seem to be satisfied by B.O.B.. B.O.B. always satisfies me, even if there is the assistance of Master P.

Yesterday, I went with Maggie and the rest of the bridal party for our second to last fitting for the dresses. We all look gorgeous! I think I’m actually starting to get excited about all of this.

Today, Jared, Pop-Pop and I are preparing food for the Fourth of July picnic tomorrow. Since Amy and Eric got their new home a few years ago, they’ve allowed Jared and I to host our traditional Fourth of July picnic at their house. There’s more room and a lot less people than the park where we used to have it and you can’t have a picnic inside an apartment. Since our second Independence Day together, Jared and I have deemed this our holiday with our own traditions. We celebrate more than the birth of America. We celebrate the rebirth of our new found life together after our hardships.

With Pop-Pop as an extra set of hands, Jared and I put him on non-cooking prep duty. Ultimately, Pop-Pop is in charge of making sure all of the coolers and bags are washed and prepped, grilling utensils are cleaned and accounted for and all games and sports related objects are organized and packed. Knowing that Pop-Pop is wicked on a grill, Jared and I ask if he’d honor us as being head chef. Pop-Pop beams with delight and enthusiastically accepts.


“How do you buy all this food without a car sweetie?” Pop-Pop investigates.

“She has it delivered,” Jared answers for me since my mouth is full of food.

“Wow! Really?”

“I belong to two different farming co-ops that have about twenty different organic and biodynamic farms who sell directly to the public. I order weekly, bi-weekly or monthly and they deliver what I request,” I explain.

“Even the meats?”

“Most of them. There are several different businesses I buy from online for most of my needs. For smaller sizes of fresh meats for Sadie, I sometimes walk down to the Whole Foods.”

“How far is that?”

“Just down the block.”

“We need to get some more quinoa, so we’ll walk down later so you can see how close it is,” Jared instructs.

“Okay!” replies Pop-Pop. “Ohh, Emma. You should see the dress Nathan is creating for you.”

“Pop-Pop!” Jared yells with shock. “She’s not supposed to know anything.”

“I know that. I just wanted to get her excited about it,” Pop-Pop confirms his intentions.

“What am I not supposed to know?”

“Anything about the dress. Nathan wants it to be a secret until the night of the premier,” Jared answers.

“Great . . .” I announce sarcastically.

“I know you aren’t excited about going with Chris, but if you knew what the dress looked like, you’d feel different,” Pop-Pop sweetly states.

“Come on, Kitten, think about the amount of money that will be pouring in from your investment,” Jared coaxes.

“I could work with that,” I comment.

“That’s the spirit!” Pop-Pop cheers.

By late morning on the Fourth of July, Nathan, Jared and Pop-Pop pick Sadie and me up, along with all of the food we’ve got prepared, and head down to Amy’s house in Arcadia. Just after twelve, Pop-Pop has the grill to full temperature and is starting to cook the burgers and chicken. Our usual group has grown a little this year with many of the Wú family members. The kids and Sadie are playing in the pool most of the day and by the time the sun starts to set, Jared and I get the sparklers out for the kids. Amy’s and Eric’s house is not far from the park where the community fireworks are set off, which works perfectly for us. No need to drive and find parking. Just before it’s fireworks time, we turn off all of the lights inside the house and in the backyard. Jade joins Jared and me on a blanket that we are laying on. Not long after all of the kids have fallen asleep, I head home with the same group that brought me down for the barbecue.

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