Breathe In (Just Breathe, #1)(126)

“Joe,” I mildly protest.

I secretly enjoy hearing his confession.

“It’s the truth,” he admits. “Any chance I can see you before Wednesday?”

“No,” I argue.

“We do have a bachelor-bachelorette party to plan,” he reminds.

“That can wait until after Saturday,” I claim.

“You avoiding me?” he teases.

“Maybe,” I nudge back.

“Mmm,” he hums. “You have an interesting way of engaging in foreplay.”

“This is not foreplay,” I appeal.

Definitely flirting, but this is not foreplay.

We sit quietly on the phone for a few minutes of relaxed silence. It’s funny how it never feels awkward. I enjoy listening to him breathe on the other end. It makes me think of the second time we shared a bed together. The first time was a little stressful, but the second time was thoroughly enjoyable.

“Did you fall asleep on me?” he checks.

“No,” I laugh. I watch Sadie suddenly get up and head to the front door.

I’m not sure what she’s doing.

“Where are you?” he asks.

“In my apartment. Remember?” I remind.

“I know that. Where in your apartment?” his voice is quieter.

“Why? Are you trying to have phone sex with me while Maggie’s asleep?” I accuse playfully.

“No, but we could if you’re up for it,” he wickedly returns.

My sex tingles at the idea. It technically wouldn’t be breaking a rule. Why am I even considering the notion?

“I don’t think so,” I reply in the best resolute tone I can muster.

Ten seconds later, I hear a strange noise.

“Knock knock,” he whispers.

Sadie starts whimpering.

“What do you mean . . .” my voice trails as my brain processes the noise and his words. “Where are you?”

“Knock knock,” he repeats.

The noise happens again and Sadie’s whimpering gets louder.

Jumping up, I rush to the door. I look out the peephole to find Joe standing outside. Shit. Crap. My heart rate increases as a weird mix of emotions run through me.

Instead of opening the door, I question in a loud whisper, “What are you doing here?”

“Wanted to see you . . . and Sadie,” he confidently replies.

Without thinking, I open the door. “Go . . .” I begin to order, but he cuts me off with a sultry kiss. My brain fights to gain control of my body that has already wrapped my arms around his neck.

Chuckling, Joe announces with his lips still against mine, “See. I knew you missed me too.”

I bashfully peel myself off of him, but he keeps a firm grip and doesn’t let me go right away. When Joe bends down to pet Sadie, I check to make sure the door is unlocked before I close it behind me.

“What are you doing here?” I express with agitated shock.

“I told you. I wanted to see you.” He sandwiches my body between his and the hallway wall, nuzzling me.

My hands instinctually slide up his arms and I cuddle into him. Joe’s mouth sweeps up my neck towards my ear, shooting exquisite electric shocks throughout my body. Filled with desire, my lips seize his. I reluctantly pull away once I recognize my blatant need and embarrassing actions. He guides my attention back to his face as he gently nudges my cheek with his palm. Before either of us say anything, his mouth is seducing mine. He releases my lips as I try to reconnect, wanting more.

“You can’t be here,” I caution.

“No one can see us. No one will know. I promise.” He reassuringly kisses me several time.

“Maggie’s inside,” I remind.

“She’s asleep,” he replies calmly, followed by his mouth returning to mine. “It’s okay.”

We stay connected and stand in silence for a while as our bodies have their own conversation. Joe caresses my cheek each time our mouths unite.

“What are your rules?” he mumbles.

“Huh? Why?”

“I want to understand them,” he admits.

“Why?”

“You have them for a reason, and I want to understand them. I want to understand you.”

Contention forms in my stomach over telling him. Part of me wants to throw my rules out the window, but at the same time, I need them more than ever. I know that things are changing and that scares me even more.

Considering what to say, I embarrassingly admit twisting his shirt in my fingers, “Umm . . . It’s complicated . . . especially with you . . . I . . . .”


“Will you tell me?” he requests politely, trying to get me to look at him.

I don’t need to let him know about the internal struggle that I’m having. He just wants me to tell him what they are. It’s not his fault that I’m confused by my wants and desires. I don’t understand them which frightens me.

Sucking in a deep breath and avoiding eye contact, I reveal them. “No dates, before or after meeting. Never sleep over at their place after sex. Never let a guy know where I live. Never have a guy back to my place. Always us protection. Never sleep with a guy who I could or do see regularly and always have more than one exit strategy.”

Joe doesn’t say anything for a minute and I start to panic. I can feel my body fidgeting.