Breaking Away (Assassins, #5)(79)
All Phillip could hear were sobs and Reese hiccupping. It was the most distressing sound he had ever heard. His heart constricted, and his throat went dry. His first thought was Shit, what happened to Claire? But nothing could have because she was with Harper. He had just finished texting Claire; he knew she was fine. So he assumed that something had happened to Reese, and that made him panic as much as he did when he first thought it was Claire. He immediately wanted to help. He wanted to run back to Tennessee and hold her, make everything better.
Getting off his bed, since Erik was in the room, he went out to the balcony and asked, “Reese, what’s wrong?”
She took in a few deep breaths and let them out in a whoosh over the phone. He wanted to be there, and it was killing him that he wasn’t. Letting out a long breath, she sucked one in and then sobbed from the soul. His heart sped up in his chest. He didn’t understand, he didn’t know what to do, and that didn’t sit right with him. He always had a plan. He half thought about going inside and telling Erik to call Piper, but what if that wasn’t what Reese wanted? He needed to get her to tell him what was wrong.
“Reese, sweetheart, tell me what’s wrong.”
“Just a bad day,” she cried. “A really f*cking bad day.”
He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose and thanking the good Lord above that was all it was. He could deal with a bad day, maybe even fix one. “Okay, can you tell me what happened?”
She took in a shuddering breath and then sniffed loudly. He smiled. She sounded so sweet; he understood that she was clearly upset, but still, it was sweet. Call him crazy but he could just imagine how beautiful she was at that moment. All snot and tears gushing down her face. This whole situation would be different if he was the one to cause the bad day, but he knew he wasn’t and, because of that, he wished he were there to see this part of her. He always saw hard Reese, or soft, sexy Reese, never broken Reese. He liked that she was sharing this part with him. That she actually needed him.
“Honey?”
She cleared her throat. “It’s such bullshit, you know? I work hard to train these girls to be winners, to succeed in this crap-ass business, and I care so much. I love these girls like they are mine, and I do everything I can to make them know that. Usually, I am so confident in my ability, but then a stupid mom walks in, pissed off that her daughter didn’t get the lead, and she calls me not only a whore, but a cold-hearted bitch.”
He flinched as if she had hit him as she went on, “I keep my private life, private. So I like to have sex, who cares? But in no f*cking way would I accept sex to get a student ahead. That is dirty and wrong. Claire got the lead because she is f*cking amazing, you know? She knew the whole dance when the other girl didn’t. How could I not give it to her? I don’t care that she isn’t a senior; she knew the whole damn thing! But despite that, I lost one of my best dancers.”
Phillip didn’t know what to say. He wanted to scream that it was bullshit, that none of that was true, but he didn’t know if it was his place, so he kept quiet as she started to cry again. After a moment, she took in another deep breath and asked, “I’m not a cold-hearted whore, am I? You can tell me the truth. I know that I’m a little promiscuous but it’s not whore status, is it? Am I cold? Do I freeze you when I touch you? Am I really a bitch? Ugh, what is wrong with me? Why do I care? I am amazing, I am talented, and if I want to f*ck the whole damn town, I will. I’m not going to stop who I am.”
Phillip cleared his throat, a smile pulling at his lips. “Well, I am against the sleeping with the whole town part.”
She let out a laugh, which is what he wanted, and she sniffed loudly as she said, “I bet.”
“Yeah, but that other stuff, Reese, surely you don’t believe it. Yes, you are a little cold, but that’s only on the outside. Your girls know how you are, the real Reese. You don’t connect with the parents, you connect with the girls, and that’s why you are so successful. Claire is no longer the girl she was when she first came to me, and I truly believe that is because of you. You not only train the girls to succeed, but you also give them a support system like no others.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. I hear the parents when I am sitting in there during rec class. They believe in you, they love you, and love that their kid is being trained by you. So you lost a girl? Another will replace her, or hell, she might come back on her knees, begging to come back to you. Don’t let one person affect how you think of yourself. If I did that, I wouldn’t be where I am. I’d be a drunken druggie with nine kids all over Minnesota. No one can define you but you.”
She let out a shuddering breath, and he wished he could wrap her up in his arms and comfort her with his body. He hated that she even believed those things that woman said. They weren’t true. Not by a long shot. “Not that it matters what I think, but I think you are amazing. You’re not only so gorgeous that my dick stands at attention every time I see you, but you blow me away with your intellect. You’re so business savvy, so smart, so beautiful, and f*cking hell, Reese, you’re hot. Yes, you like sex, so does everyone else, so what? As long as you love yourself, who cares what everyone else thinks?”
She was quiet for a moment before saying, “It does matter.”
He was confused. “What does?”