Breaking Away (Assassins, #5)(100)
He shrugged. “You’re right, but it wasn’t that easy. I had to have you. I was attracted the moment I saw you. Your body was, and still, is killer. Your face was gorgeous and when you moved, I couldn’t breathe. I know it was wrong of me but if I had told you about my family, you wouldn’t have slept with me. I needed to have you.”
She blanched as she looked into his hard, brown eyes. “You’re f*cking right!” she screamed. “I would have never loved you. I would have never done anything. You would have been completely off limits, because I’m no f*cking home wrecker! But you made me one! You broke my heart, and you made me into a whore! You chased me off from the one place that held my dreams because I couldn’t bear being seen as your other woman. You ruined me, Kevin, when all you were supposed to do was love me and help me reach my goal and dreams. I thought you were that person, and I was wrong. So damn wrong.”
She shook her head as she looked away. She felt the tears wanting to fall but, thank God, she didn’t allow them to. She had cried enough over Kevin Edds, and she wouldn’t allow herself to do it any longer. Instead, she looked back at him like he was the most disgusting piece of trash in the dumpster. She had thought so highly of him, she thought she knew him, but she was wrong. “You used me. You misled me into thinking that the things I felt and the dreams I had for us were within reach when they weren’t. So yes, I am still mad. But don’t you even think for a second that it is because I am still in love with you. Because believe me, I’m not. This moment right now solidifies that. I am disgusted with myself for ever loving you. I wasted my love on you. I allowed you to ruin me. I hate that, but let me tell you right now,” she said, taking a step towards him, “I’ll never make that mistake again.”
Saying those words were what she needed. This was what she needed. This moment to tell Kevin Edds that he was dead to her. She felt like the weight of the world was taken off her chest, and she could breathe again. She could live her life without ever thinking of this man again, thinking of the what ifs. This man used her, and it took him saying the things he had to make her realize that. She had done no wrong back then, it was all him, and knowing that help her cope with all the anger she had in her. He was out to get her, he was the villain in their love story, and she was glad to no longer be a part of it. It was like she was closing the book on them, and she was completely fine with that.
Taking another step towards him, she looked up and smiled as she said, “Now let’s get this done and then do this class. When you walk out my doors to the van that holds your family, know that this is the last time we will ever see each other or talk. When you see me in the dance world, look the other way, because we have nothing to say to each other. Love your wife and only your wife; don’t ever do to her what you did again. I don’t know how she stays with you, maybe she doesn’t know, but that isn’t my problem, it’s yours. You have to live with that and live what you have done to me, but I don’t think you care, so let’s get this done and never see each other again.”
Taking a step back, she reached for the iPod and found the song that she wanted to dance to. She didn’t care what he wanted. They were dancing to this, and there was no discussing it.
“She does know about us,” he said, stopping her fingers on the iPod. “And she was going to leave me, take my son and the child she was pregnant with at the time, and take me to the cleaners.”
Reese turned and met his sorrowful eyes. “She gave me twenty-four hours to decide what I wanted and I picked you, I did, but then my son crawled into my lap, looked up at me with the same colored eyes as his mother, and I couldn’t do it, Reese. I couldn’t lose him. So I chose her and broke it off with you the next day. It killed me, it did, and I hate that I hurt you. When I found out you left, I was ready to chase after you to bring you back because we couldn’t lose you at the company, too. Then Stacey lost our baby and I decided I had to let you go, that I had to worry about my family. I made Stacey promise not to blame you—that it was entirely my fault. For the longest time things were strained but, after a lot of counseling, we are back to where we should be. You have to believe me when I say that I am so sorry for what I did. I don’t expect you to forgive me, the deceiving and the lying is unforgiveable, but know that I loved you. I did, but I know I wasn’t and am still not the man for you.”
Her lips wobbled as he looked away.
“You’re a star, Reese, the brightest one in the sky, and you deserve a man that will help you shine brighter. A man that will cherish you and never look at another woman after being with you. I’m sorry that I held your heart hostage the way I did. I had no right to do that to you. That is the main reason that I am here. I needed to apologize.”
When he looked up at her, waiting for her response, all she could do was nod. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness, and she couldn’t trust herself not to give it to him. A part of her, the small one that still had feelings for him, wanted to forgive him. The rest of her wanted to flick him off but, instead, she cleared her throat before saying, “What I said still stands. We have no reason to talk once you leave this studio.”
“I understand.”
She looked down at where she played with the hem of her sweatshirt and said, “But thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Nodding, she turned again and took a deep breath, collecting herself. She thought she had felt good saying what she had, hearing Kevin’s words was ten times better. Looking back at him, she let out a breath. “Let’s do this.”