Braydon(103)

Jessie turned to face Braydon but found that they were literally just inches away from one another. He was looking down at her when he cupped her face in his big hands, and lo and behold, she did the one thing she didn’t want to do.

She started to cry.





chapter TWENTY-SEVEN

“Oh, damn,” Braydon muttered when he noticed the first tear fall.

Jessie had her eyes closed when he reached up and brushed the first wet streak, then the second, away with his thumbs. “Don’t cry, Jess. Please don’t cry.”

“I can’t help it. I’m a mess,” she mumbled.

“A beautiful mess,” he replied, unable to help himself. At least it garnered a small smile from her.

When her eyes opened, he was lost for a moment in the glistening blue depths. There were so many things he wanted to say to her right then, so many ways he wanted to tell her that he loved her and that they could work this out, but he somehow managed to keep his mouth shut.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her eyes locked with his.

“About what?” he asked. It wasn’t that he wasn’t capable of filling in the blanks himself, but he really wanted Jessie to come forth and tell him. As Brendon had said, they’d spent so much time not talking, not opening up, that now was the time to do so. Jessie wasn’t the type of woman who would open up easily, and he’d learned from experience that if he started to talk, she would sit back and let him and then, before he knew it, he would’ve divulged all of his secrets and she would’ve kept all of hers inside.

There was no doubt that he wanted her. He wanted every piece of her. But he wasn’t going to make it easy for her. Wrapping her in his arms and telling her that everything would be okay was making it way too damn easy.

“I’m sorry for being a bitch. I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions. I’m sorry for sending you away. I’m sorry for making you hate me. I’m sorry for—”

“Stop,” he ordered softly, placing his finger over her lips. “I appreciate you trying to take all of the blame here, but that isn’t how this works. You could’ve started and stopped with the jumping to conclusions piece.”

“But the rest of it is true,” she told him. “I’m crazy; you should know that by now. I’ve got so many crazies living inside of me, and unfortunately, they don’t bother to schedule with me when they’re gonna let loose.”

Braydon couldn’t help himself; he leaned down and pressed his lips to Jessie’s lightly. He didn’t let her move closer and he didn’t try to deepen the kiss, but he needed that little bit of physical contact with this woman.

When he pulled away, he continued to stare down at her. “Jess, I know you’re not perfect. Neither am I. But I don’t want us to be perfect. What kind of life would that be?”

“It wouldn’t be crazy,” she mumbled, glancing away.

Braydon tipped her chin, getting her attention. When she met his gaze again, he said, “It’d be boring as hell, is what it’d be. I’ll live with imperfect over boring any day.”

“I don’t want to be perfect.” Jessie’s gaze bore into his as she spoke. “I just want to be normal.”

“You are normal,” he replied.

“Yeah?” she asked, a hint of frustration inflected in her tone.

Braydon held firm; he kept his hands cupped on her face, unwilling to let this get out of hand. Jessie always seemed to turn to anger, as though getting defensive was her automatic response, and the last thing either of them needed was for this to fall apart. He feared that there were only so many cracks that a relationship could take before it ended up with a mile-wide fissure right down the middle.

“You’re as normal as the rest of us, Jess.”

“I’m the girl who’s been sleeping with two guys. Well, not recently, but you know what I mean. I’m the girl who decided that because I fall in love too much I’m not gonna fall in love again, period. I mean, that even sounds crazy to me, and I’m the one who came up with it.”

Braydon raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue.

“And look where that got me.”

“Where’s that?” he asked.

“It got me in the same place, Braydon,” she said, her tone firm, the sadness all but gone from her eyes as she stared back at him.

He knew she had more to say, so he held his tongue.

“I love you. Don’t you get that? I fell in love with you a long time ago. Even after I promised myself that I wouldn’t. I wanted to be friends. I really did.” Jessie took a deep breath, continued, “After I found myself immersed in an untraditional relationship that was supposed to be a friendship with a few added benefits, I knew I’d probably gone a little too far. And look what I did with that. I lost both you and Brendon. I shattered a friendship that had come to mean so much to me.”

“You didn’t shatter anything,” he said.

“That wasn’t quite the part I was hoping you would pay attention to,” Jessie countered hotly.

“Oh, was there something else?” he asked, grinning, pretending to think about what she’d said. He didn’t last long, because he was pressing his lips to hers again, this time cradling her head and moving in closer to her. “I love you too, Jessie. I’ve loved you from the moment I met you.”