Boyfriend Material(116)

Eventually, we ended up back on the patio. Miriam and David were holding court from a set of fancy garden furniture, and Oliver and Christopher had just presented them with their joint anniversary gift—a pair of ruby earrings for her, a pair of ruby cuff links for him, which had been offered with an awkward sense of obligation and received with complacent gratitude. Fun times.

“Oliver, darling.” Miriam patted the space beside her. “It’s so nice to be able to catch up.” She glanced to Uncle Jim who, somehow, contrived to always fucking be there. “He hardly speaks to us, you know. At least with Christopher it’s because you know he’s saving babies in some dreadful malaria-ridden swamp.”

Oliver settled in beside her. There was nowhere for me, of course, so I perched on the arm, which drew me an immediate look of disapproval. I briefly considered getting up out of respect, but I’d been on the fast lane to fuck it all afternoon and had just crossed the border.

“I’m sorry, Mother,” he said. “I know I’m not saving babies, but I have had rather a lot going on.”

Miriam’s eyes alighted on me very briefly, and then skittered away. “So I see. What happened to the other fellow?”

“Andrew and I broke up.”

“Shame. He seemed like such a nice young man.”

“It wasn’t working out.”

“I suppose”—she paused frankly indelicately—“it’s more difficult in your situation. I mean, you have to be so careful.”

“I’m…I’m not sure that’s entirely the case.”

“You know best, darling.” Apparently it was time for a knee pat. “I just worry because I’m your mother. And you see such horrible stories in the newspapers.”

“I’m fine. Really. I think Lucien’s been good for me.”

“You look very tired.”

Yeah, that would be because he hardly slept last night. In the boring tossing, turning, going for a run at 3:00 a.m. way. Rather than the exciting doing sexy things way.

“I told you”—a line had appeared between Oliver’s brows—“I’m fine.”

Miriam blinked rapidly as if to say “I’m trying not to cry, but it’s hard because you’re being so horrible to me.” “You won’t understand this because you’ll never have children of your own, but it’s very difficult for me to see you boys not taking care of yourselves.”

“For God’s sake, Oliver,” snapped David. “Stop upsetting your mother.”

Oliver drooped. “I’m sorry, Mother.”

“She gave up a lot for you. Show her some bloody gratitude. And she’s right, by the way. When was the last time you had a haircut?”

Before Oliver could reply—I was hoping, in the face of evidence, he was going to tell them all to fuck off—Uncle Jim decided it was time to lighten the mood. Clapping his brother on the back, he unleashed an infuriating chortle. “Probably too busy with his new boyfriend, eh? Eh?”

Somehow Oliver did not punch him in the face. “Lucien’s had an important work function so, yes, we have been busy.”

“Well, you’d better be careful.” Uncle Jim pawed at Oliver in a way that I thought was meant to be affectionate. “Put on any more weight, and he’ll dump you like the rest of them.”

“I’m not going to dump him,” I insisted, probably slightly too loudly. “He looks great. We’re very happy.”

His mother faffed again with his tie, sighing softly. “Maybe it’s this shirt. You know blue isn’t your colour, darling.”

“I’m sorry.” I hadn’t thought it would be possible for Oliver to shrink further but he shrank further. “I didn’t want to be late so I dressed in a hurry.”

“We’ve still got some of your old things upstairs if you want to change.”

Oliver visibly cringed. “I’ve not lived here since I was seventeen. I don’t think anything would fit me anymore.”

Another hearty laugh from Uncle Jim. “See, what did I say? You’re nearly thirty now. You’ll be a fat bastard before you know it.”

“Leave the boy alone, James,” said David indulgently. Who then totally failed to take his own advice. “Anyway, Oliver. When are you going to start doing something useful with your life?”

I tried to catch Oliver’s eye but he was staring fixedly at his clasped hands. “Well, I’m building my reputation in Chambers and we’ll see where it goes from there.”

“You know we only want you to be happy, darling.” That was Miriam. “But is this really where you want to be?”

Oliver glanced up warily. “W-what do you mean?”

“She means,” explained David, “that if this was really what you wanted to be doing with your life, you’d be putting a bit more into it. I was talking to Doug at the club, and he was telling me you should be a QC by now.”

“That would be almost unprecedented.”

“That’s not what Doug said. Said he knew a fellow your age got silk last month.”

“Sorry?” asked Christopher unexpectedly. “Is this the same Doug who told you we shouldn’t take that job in Somalia because we’d get Ebola? Is he an expert on the law now, as well as infectious disease?”