Bound by Bliss (Bound and Determined #2)(58)

Based on her experience of the last few nights, Bliss was not at all sure that was true. She rather thought gentlemen enjoyed having wives who engaged in lewd thoughts—and actions. But perhaps they only wanted ones who displayed such thoughts in private. Even with the Binkshaws she’d never seen any public hint of their private desires.

A slight ting sounded as Lady Perse rapped a teaspoon against the side of her cup. “Attention. I am beginning to despair that there is no possibility of bringing this matter to fruition. We cannot even negotiate the beginning.”

“I am sorry.” And she was. She needed Lady Perse. No more thoughts of Duldon and the delights he had introduced her to, no more remembering how his mouth felt upon her breast, no more wishing his fingers were rubbing between her legs, hitting that secret place, no more…Damnation, she was doing it again. “Tell me what you require and I will make it so.”

Straightening her back more than Bliss would have thought possible, Lady Perse placed the spoon back on the saucer. “It has come to my attention that my nephew, Lord Duldon, wishes to wed you for some sliver of land your father possesses. I imagine he is the man your brother is trying to force upon you. I do not approve of a match between you. I wish you to stay away from the boy. I wish you to spend no more time in Duldon’s company.”



—

Did she dare go to Madame Rouge’s? Bliss stared up at the underside of her bed’s canopy. After her conversation with Lady Perse it seemed a most unwise decision. The lady had made it very clear that Bliss should have as little to do with Duldon as possible. Yes, she understood that some meetings could not be avoided. They were neighbors in the country and he was her brother’s best friend. Still, avoidance was the desired path, the key to invitation and all it might mean.

And yet…

Bliss closed her eyes and let her head fall back upon the pillows of her bed, her body still aching with need from the previous night. What did she really want? Did she want a night of passion or lifetime of companionship? A scant week ago Lady Perse’s visit would have been the answer to her prayers. If she did as Lady Perse directed she would have an agreeable husband, Duldon would be out of her life, and Swanston would have no further say over her. So why was she not jumping with glee?

Questions, always questions. From the day Duldon had entered her life it seemed that all she did was ask questions. Well, that wasn’t strictly true. He had been in her life for years. It was only now that she was questioning everything.

She’d begun to see him in a new way and it made her wonder what else she’d been missing these past years.



Curling her fingers, she punched the pillow beside her.

But was the new Duldon any better for her than the old one? If anything he might be more dangerous. He made her want things she should not.

Well, she was dressed and ready to go. Duldon would be waiting for her in a scant few minutes. Surely one more night could not hurt?

She sat up and swung her feet to the floor. Even the small movement caused her to shiver with want as her thighs brushed against each other and the silk of her dress slid along her skin.

Pulling in a breath, she walked to the mirror and stared at herself. Large eyes, pupils almost covering the dark blue irises. Lips red and swollen from constant nibbling. Skin pale after a night of restless turning and fevered dreams. Her breasts rose high in the simple bodice. It was a simple matter to brush it down and see the top of Duldon’s mark.

Her fingers lifted and traced the revealed red half-moon. The skin was still tender although the true sharpness had long since left.

What did she want?

The dreams that had danced through her head last night had left her in a state of wanton anxiety. Is this how she wanted to live her life? Only it wouldn’t be her life, it would just be one night.

Could she risk one more night with Duldon? One night in which she allowed herself almost everything she desired?

She would not relinquish her virginity. That was only for her husband. She would bring no disgrace, risk no child that was not sired in the marriage bed. No, that was absolute, but everything else…? Everything else seemed possible.



So did she dare? Could she take what she wanted from Duldon and then leave him? Could she use him in such a manner?

He wanted more. There was no doubt of that. So could she do this?

Yes.

Resolution filled her. She was a woman, one who was coming to know her own power.

She would meet with Duldon, fulfill her needs, indulge her fantasies—and then she would tell him that she could not see him any longer, could no longer allow him to help with her plans for finding a husband—or any other plans. Lady Perse had taken that position from him and none could argue that she was by far the better choice for matchmaking.

Determination hummed through her. Pulling her bodice back up, she turned and slipped from the room, heading for the back stairs and then to the garden gate.





Chapter Fifteen


Her hands were shaking. Duldon stared down at Bliss’s slender fingers and wondered at it. Whether jumping with joy, dancing until she swayed with dizziness, or looking angry enough to slug a brick wall, Bliss was always full of emotion, but he’d never seen her look so nervous. Was it in fear of her coming punishment or something else? He refused to believe that she feared him.

Reaching into a pocket, he pulled out the blue satin half-mask and handed it to her. “Are you ready to go in?” He should ask if she was sure, if she was having second thoughts. He did not. He needed this night as he’d rarely needed anything.