Bound by Bliss (Bound and Determined #2)(41)

“It is true a fear of childbirth is common. And our mother did not have an easy time with pregnancy. She was sick for months and that is not to mention the two stillbirths. Bliss was quite young at the time and I can see that she might find the whole matter frightening.”

Duldon stared up at the ceiling and considered. “That might explain some of it, but I am not sure it is that simple.”

“I think you are overreacting. I am sure that if Bliss does fear something you will figure it out and correct the matter.”

“Perhaps.” Duldon did not feel convinced. “I do wish I understood what was holding her back.”

Swanston smirked. “Perhaps she is afraid of the marriage bed. Our society tells women much of its horrors and little of its pleasures.”



Duldon had to resist rolling his eyes. “Do you know your sister at all?”

Swanston shrugged and took another sip of brandy. “I would admit that Bliss has never seemed shy. I know she used to peek at us boys when we swam. I always meant to scold her for it, but…”

Duldon had the feeling there had been a lot of “buts” in Bliss’s life. “No, I do not think she fears the marriage bed. For some reason she is simply opposed to marriage—and particularly marriage with me, although none of the reasons she gives make sense.”

“Does she need a reason to dislike you?” Swanston was almost laughing.

“She doesn’t seem to dislike me, just the thought of marriage to me—and she truly doesn’t seem that eager to wed anyone.”

Swanston’s smile stilled. “You are right about that. You would have thought I was asking her to walk over hot coals when I told her I wished her to marry you, but she didn’t seem much happier when I gave her the out of finding her own husband. Perhaps she does wish to avoid children. I will have to give the matter some thought. Perhaps I will have Louisa talk to her.”

It might not be a bad idea to have Louisa talk to Bliss, although perhaps about more than childbirth. Louisa seemed to be a quite satisfied wife. A sudden thought took him. He’d never heard Swanston talk of women and children in such a manner. “And what of Louisa? Does she have this desire for children?”

Swanston’s face grew flush with color. “Of course.”



“And have you done anything about that desire?”

An even deeper flush.

Duldon laughed. “And when is the happy date?”

“Blast you. Sometime early next year I expect. But please do not tell anyone. Louisa wishes to wait to pass on our happy news.”

“I will be discreet.” Duldon could not help the smile that formed upon his lips. A year ago he would never have believed he would see Swanston like this.

Now if only he could solve the problem of why Bliss was so opposed to marriage—and marriage to him.

—

Why had she let Duldon touch her in that manner? Bliss dropped her head as she considered. Why had she ever even agreed to go with him into a brothel? Well, the second question was unfair. It wasn’t as if she’d needed any persuading. He’d been the one opposed to the idea. No, she couldn’t blame him for that; she could only blame herself, and her curiosity. And Lady Ormande. What had the Countess been thinking? Granted, Bliss could not say she was sorry she’d gone. It had been most enlightening.

In fact, she wished she could go again, if she was completely honest. There were definitely more questions she’d like answered, more things she would like to see.

No, it was the touching she didn’t understand. Why had she let that happen?

Not once had she asked him to stop.

She’d barely moved away from his touch.



Blast. Blast. Blast.

She’d spent years trying not to think of Duldon in this manner, trying not to think of him as anything but dull, and now it seemed that her mind could not be controlled.

She had enjoyed his touch, reveled in it. It made her want to know how much more was possible. What would it be like if he’d suckled her breast like he’d wanted to? And what would it be like if he’d used his mouth on her like Lord Banks had on Julianna? And what if she used her mouth on him?

“What on earth are you thinking, Bliss? You almost walked into a tree,” Angela’s voice cut through her thoughts.

Bliss’s head jerked up.

She was in the park. She was taking a walk with her friend. They might even go feed the ducks.

Angela continued, “I’ve never seen you like this. You frequently drift off in conversation, but I’ve never seen you look like you didn’t know where you were.”

And she hadn’t. For the last few minutes she’d been at Madame Rouge’s, not strolling on a sunny afternoon. She shook her head. “I am sorry. I am distracted by this whole matter of marriage and trying to understand why Lady Perse did not give me an invitation.”

“I suppose I can see how that would be distracting. I always thought that Lady Perse liked you. I would have thought you would be among the first to receive an invitation.”

Bliss refrained from snapping that Angela’s words did nothing to help the situation. “I am trying not to think of that. Perhaps she thinks I do not need her help. She is Duldon’s aunt. Perhaps he has broken his promise to not discuss the possibility of marriage between us until the end of the season. If she knew he wished to marry me she might not wish to assist me in finding another husband.”