Bound by Bliss (Bound and Determined #2)(30)

She was going to be his wife, his respected wife. He forced the thought to circle through his brain, again and again. There must be some way to fight the need to turn her around, to take her lips, to bare her breasts and feast upon them, to rip those ridiculous breeches from her, to gaze upon her naked ass, to plunder…

He’d already gone further than he intended. His hands should never have touched her, he should never have asked her questions, never lead her to discuss her feelings over what she was seeing, never had her hint at the wants he could see so clearly. He should have stood back, let her peek, and then hurried her away.

Only, she was so irresistible. Even as his mind longed to treat her as his future wife, his body and desires fought free.

“Another room?” There was no mistaking the sudden eagerness in her voice.

He should have thought this through further, but Bliss seemed to rob him of reason. Every step forward placed them further in danger, made it harder to fight his own demons. Why did he always act too quickly with Bliss? “Yes, Ruby mentioned that there was another couple here this night that like to be watched—although, for reasons you will soon understand, this couple will be masked. They prefer to keep their identities secret.”



“I don’t need any explanation. I cannot imagine not wanting to keep one’s identity a secret. I can’t imagine being the Binkshaws.”

He paused, his mind again ablaze with possibilities. “How would you feel about being watched if no one knew who you were?”

She stiffened against him. “I am not sure. I can’t even imagine it—but then I can’t really imagine any of it. It is one thing to watch, but to actually participate…No, I cannot even think of being watched.”

Now that was not an outright rejection. How interesting. “Well, let us move a little down the hall and we can explore how adventurous you are willing to be, at least as far as watching is concerned.”

“You will need to move back then so that I can pass,” she said.

“You wish is my command, my lady,” he replied, but moved back only a scant half foot.

He could feel her consider, but after a few moments she slipped sideways, her whole body brushing against him. He was tempted to grab hold and keep her pressed tight to him, but he resisted, sanity winning for this one moment.

“How will I know which hole to look through?” she asked, her breasts a heavy weight against his chest. His fingers curled in an effort not reach up and squeeze those breasts until she could have no doubt of his feelings.

“I believe Ruby said it was the third one to the left.”

“What about the others? Who is behind them?”

“Perhaps nobody, perhaps somebody who does not wish to be seen. There really is no telling.”



“And would it be so awful if I did look? How would they ever know?”

“They probably never would. There are many brothels where it is a common practice to sell viewing rights—and the patrons never know, although it is a wise practice in such a place to always assume one is being watched.”

“And you have been to such a place?” Her voice was edged with disbelief.

How much more did he have to show her before she would admit to understanding? “Yes, perhaps upon an occasion or two.” Would she hear the sarcasm in his voice?

“I would not have expected that.” Did he finally hear consideration in her voice?

No, evidently there was a long way to go before she would accept him as he was.

But why did he want her to? It certainly was not necessary for marriage—and no matter what she might think at the moment, they would be married. He was coming to know Bliss far better than he ever had and while he did not understand her reluctance, it was certainly not because she actually disliked him, no matter what she might say. A woman who truly disliked a man was not as comfortable with his touch as Bliss had shown herself to be.

His mind twisted as he realized he was no longer sure what he wanted. Oh, he wanted Bliss, there was no doubt of that, but perhaps their marriage could be more than he’d ever expected. He still couldn’t imagine letting her see his true needs, but perhaps she would be more open than he had ever expected.



And didn’t he want that in a wife? Should he want that in a wife? It was not as easy a question as he would have expected.

He turned his gaze down and met her eyes. “Are you not yet realizing that I am unexpected, and not at all the dull don you have fashioned me?”

“You heard that?” He could hear the sudden shyness in her voice.

“Yes, but do not worry. I found it humorous, not disheartening.”

“Perhaps I would have wished you to find it disheartening.”

He smiled and leaning over, kissed the top of her head. The proper gesture for a future wife, and not at all the kiss he would have liked. “No, sweet. You would never wish to cause pain, not even to me.”

She turned away and he had the feeling that perhaps his words had touched upon a tender spot.

“Come, let us look upon the other room.” She moved to push away the sliding latch that covered the peephole.

He placed his hand over hers. “No, let me look first. I want to be sure that you do not find anything too surprising or even horrifying. I have to confess I have my own self-interest in mind. I would not be happy if you found anything so off-putting that you never wanted to play again.” Was he actually considering doing this again?