Borrowing Trouble(9)

And strangely, very unwelcome, he suddenly felt itchy in his skin. Landon and Ms. Lynne’s information bomb—true or not—had sucker punched Jay in the gut. An awkward something sat on the edge of his mind, a sense of being too big for his own body.

Thankfully, with his kids busy with exams and getting ready to go off to Atlanta, and work being busy with huge orders and payroll, he hadn’t had five minutes to think on it.

When Friday came around, Jay had barely gotten in the front door before Bethany was knocking. “Hey, stranger,” she greeted with a smile and a hug.

“Hey, Beths.” It was nice to see her in person. He hadn’t seen her in months. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed her until she was there in front of him.

“Where are the kids?”

“Getting their stuff ready.” Jay led the way to the kitchen where he offered Bethany some coffee. She took the mug with thanks. He couldn’t help appreciating how good she looked these days. She was glowing. Her hair was longer and her clothes much more chic than anything she’d owned when they were married. She looked every bit the city girl she was now.

“You look great,” he said, meaning it.

“Thanks,” she preened. “You do too. You seem happy.”

Jay wasn’t sure what to say to that. He knew he was much more settled these days, but didn’t think he was doing anything different. That’s a lie and you know it. The unbidden thoughts were rolling around. The ones he’d been trying to laugh off since Ms. Lynne had opened her big mouth. One emotional crisis at a time, please.

“Uh, thanks.”

“Are you seeing someone?” she asked with a hint of friendly suspicion.

“No, not seeing anyone.”

She eyed him carefully. “You sure? You haven’t been able to talk for weeks. The kids commented on you being out a lot on the weekends.”

“Oh, no. Just hanging out with my buddy, Landon. You remember Landon Petty?”

“Hell yeah. How’s he doing? Haven’t seen him since he was—what, twelve, thirteen?”

“Probably. He’s good. He’s working for his daddy.”

“Well, it’s good y’all are hanging out. Is he still a loner like he used to be?”

“Yeah, still pretty much keeps to himself.” Even trying to hide his irritation at the truth behind those words, Bethany picked up something wasn’t right. She knew him entirely too well to try to hide anything from her.

“Everything okay?”

“Oh. Just remembered something from work I forgot to do.” He hated lying and was sure she knew he was, but he didn’t want to talk about it with her. “So, any big plans for the week?”

She looked like she might keep trying to pry, but obviously decided against it. “Not really. Just doing the family stuff. Aunt Theresa and Uncle Robert are coming down from South Dakota, so it’ll be a full house at mama and daddy’s.”

Jay smiled at the memories that brought back. Bethany’s family always did holidays big. Everyone would come from their corners of the country to stay with her parents, and they did big feasts and everyone doted on the grandkids.

“You still planning to come for Thanksgiving?”

“Of course,” he answered. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Good,” she said. “Good.” She let out a contented sigh. “It’ll be good having the whole family around.”

“Sure will. It’s been a long time.”

“It has,” she agreed. She leaned back against the counter. “We’ve had it good.”

Jay nodded and leaned on the counter opposite her and it was like time had never passed. They sipped their coffee in companionable silence, listening to the kids bicker upstairs. They occasionally smiled, enjoying the memories the scenario brought back.

At some point, Bethany leaned in with her hand on Jay’s forearm, laughing at the kids’ banter. It was a move she’d done a million times since they’d known each other. But something was different. Jay couldn’t put his finger on it. It was like something was missing. Like someone who wasn’t Bethany should be here.

Then it struck him. Landon. He wished Landon was there. He wished Landon was leaning in with his strong, capable hands touching him.

Jay’s breath hitched. Fuck. Why was he thinking that way? He didn’t mind if Landon was gay, but Jay wasn’t. He’d never thought of a man like that. Ever. And here he was wanting to replace Bethany in his presence with Landon.

What the f*ck?

“You okay?” Bethany was frowning at the obvious change in Jay’s mood. Jay wasn’t sure what the f*ck to say. He was absolutely blown away with the sudden image of kissing Landon.

Thankfully, the kids chose that moment to bound into the kitchen. “Mommy!” Millie bounced over and hugged Bethany, who studied Jay for one more uncomfortable moment before turning her attention to her daughter.

“Hey, sweetie. Ready to go to grandma and poppaw’s?”

Jay watched silently as the kids hugged their mother and discussed the things they hoped to do while they were in Atlanta. Bethany and Jay shared amused glances.

“Alright, kiddos,” Jay said, plopping a hand on each of their shoulders and pulling them in for hugs. His heart felt full when they reciprocated. Pain in the ass teenagers they were, but they were also his.