Boiling Point (Crossing the Line #3)(77)

“I know. I think I knew all along it wouldn’t solve or repair anything. I just needed to fix the wrong. The way you two fixed mine.” Her hand felt heavy as she lifted it to massage her forehead. “We’ll figure something out, all right? I just need some time.”

“Where is Austin now?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered. “Maybe he was never here at all. Maybe I’ve been asleep this whole time, dreaming him up.”

“Polly.” Her father sounded worried. What was there left to worry about? Over. It was all over. “You need to get some sleep.”

Sleep was overrated without Austin to hold her.

There will be holding, Polly.

His vow played on a loop as she drifted into unconsciousness.

…

Polly didn’t recognize any of the waitstaff in the diner. It was midafternoon, not early morning as it was when she usually came. She would still be asleep in the hotel room if a hotel clerk hadn’t knocked on the door to remind her checkout time was 11:00 a.m. Unable to leave the hotel without the possibility of returning, she’d called Drake and asked him to book another night on his credit card. The fact that he’d done so without asking any questions only made her love him more.

Acknowledging love for anyone or anything was like prodding an open wound with a fireplace poker. Would she ever be able to feel the emotion again without experiencing such blinding loss?

She slid into her usual booth, waving away the offered menu with a polite but strained smile. “Coffee, please.”

The tea bags were still in the hotel room where she’d left them, although the aroma clung to her clothes like a layer of smoke, haunting her. Austin had hijacked the tea’s comforting qualities and made them bitter. Bitter and rife with confusion. She’d woken up positive he’d been saying good-bye. Not just with the tea bags, but back in the street with Reitman. How else should she interpret the regret plaguing his handsome features?

A waitress stopped beside Polly’s table, placing a plateful of blueberry waffles in front of her. For an interminable stretch of time, all she could do was stare, the implications trickling in slowly, like a dam giving way. The thudding in her chest picked up its pace until Polly felt as if she’d just finished a marathon. She didn’t realize she was standing until her hip bumped into a table across the carpeted aisle.

Austin was there.

I need to know that we have breakfast in our future—normal things that make you happy—or my next breath doesn’t mean shit.

Where? She’d been so preoccupied upon entering the diner she hadn’t felt him. Now, though, when she was allowing herself to feel, energy spun around her in a tight funnel. Customers were looking at her strangely, but she noticed only in passing. She was too busy scanning faces, searching for Austin in the bustling afternoon crowd. When she saw him in the far back corner, the brim of his hat pulled down low over eyes that blazed in her direction, her legs were moving before her brain could catch up, making her stumble.

Austin jolted on his seat, reaching out for her with a startled curse, but she’d already recovered. Two more steps and she’d thrown herself across the booth and into his arms. Arms that banded around her so tightly, she knew instantly that she’d betrayed him by worrying. By doubting.

“Ah, sweet. There you are. Jesus, there you are.” He yanked her onto his lap, laying kisses along her jawline. “A day is too long to go without holding you. I could feel myself beginning to fade into nothing. I’m nothing unless you’re with me.”

“Where have you been?” She found his hat offensive for covering even an inch of him, so she knocked it off his head. “I thought you left. I thought—”

Austin pressed their mouths together, cutting her off. “No, you didn’t. You didn’t really think that, Polly.” He searched her eyes, as if looking for some unknown answer. “I was giving you a chance to leave me.”

The energy funnel churning around them slowed to a crawl. “What?”

His gaze cut to the side. “What Charles told you about me…I’ve done things I’m ashamed of, Polly. I’m not the kind of man you can be proud of.” He rubbed his thumb over her collarbone, studying it so closely she wondered if he was memorizing the shape and texture. “I needed to give you my love. And then let you decide if you wanted it.”

“I don’t want it,” she whispered. “I need it.”

His head pitched forward for a moment, as if he were praying, before it lifted again, hitting her with the full force of his happiness. He cradled the back of her head in a gentle hold, his breath striking her lips in relieved gusts. “Oh, thank God. I gave you one night.” His laughter embodied the same exhausted frustration she’d felt until being enfolded in his arms. “I was only able to manage it because there were things that needed accomplishing. Things I’m hoping made me slightly more deserving of you, Polly. But I’m still not even close.”

Her hands lifted of their own accord to frame his face. “You took the money to my father.” Swallowing the desire to avoid an uncomfortable topic, she forced herself to keep going. “Did you send the other half to Reitman’s daughter?”

Austin gave a single, pointed nod. “It doesn’t excuse my actions. I’m not sure anything will.” A multitude of emotions swam across his face, regret and hope chiefly among them. “I want to make up for everything I’ve done. Repay my debts. It’s the only way I can justify allowing myself to be a part of your life.”