Blood Lands (Savage Lands #5)(5)

To lose him now and be the one to do it?

No.

“Drágám.” One word was all it took to break me. Because it wasn’t the word, it was the thousands of moments we shared, the times he read me stories, or when he gave me the stuffed animal, Sarkis, to watch over me. It was the sound of family, of my father, of comfort, and times of safety and happiness.

Andris was my touchstone now. The man who represented the time in my life when I still had my father. And deep inside, the dark part of me understood if my own mother or my real uncle Mykel were also in this ring, I know who’d I save. The one who had been part of my family and life since I was a baby. And this recognition merely made me sink further into bleakness.

There are those times when you get to a location, but you can’t recall how you did, your mind receding far into itself, blacking out time. That’s how I felt. Nothing seemed real.

“Drágám?” He spoke to me again, my head rising to look at him, stilling when I realized Andris hadn’t opened his mouth. He stared at me from yards away.

I could make myself believe the moments with Warwick had all been in my mind, needing the connection so bad he was with me, but not Andris.

This can’t be happening. My heart was bleeding all over the ground, my grief heaving so hard in my chest, blackness dotted my vision. I couldn’t breathe, sobs wrenching through my soul.

In the distance, I heard Istvan’s voice, my uncle’s, even my own wild wails, sounding like a wounded animal, though nothing penetrated my despair.

“Kovacs.” His voice was the only thing that cut through, piercing the barrier and yanking me back into myself. “Brex, look at me.” The feel of a hand brushed at my chin, my face turning up. The fierceness of Warwick’s eyes slammed me back to earth, a calmness sweeping over me at his touch. His heavy gaze gave me a tether to the world.

Air caught in my lungs at seeing his ghost-like form. It was nowhere near as solid as it once was, but now I knew it was real. The magic was coming back.

“Use me.” He growled. “Do whatever it takes to survive this. Mentally and physically.” My heart thumped against my chest, feeling him skim over my skin. “Don’t let Markos break you.”

“Brexley?” Andris’s call sliced through Warwick, his vision disappearing, turning my focus to my uncle. He fell on his knees in front of me, both of us ignoring the outburst from the crowd and Istvan. Only a handful in the crowd were on our side. The rest wanted the show; they wanted death and blood.

“Nagybacsi,” I croaked, my heart splintering when his hands cupped my cheeks. Did he feel the extra bond now? How could I ever hurt him? I gave everything to save him. “I-I can’t.”

“You must.” His eyes held so much sorrow, but I could feel a resigned strength in him.

“You don’t get much say in the way you die, but you can choose how you handle it.” My father’s voice came back to me. “Always hold yourself with honor. Especially in death.”

Andris lived by the same motto.

“N-n-no!” I shook my head, tears spilling down my face. “I can’t lose you; don’t you get that? It’s why I brought you back. And I would do it again without question.”

“You don’t know how much I love you for it. You gave me time to say goodbye, even if I didn’t realize it then.”

“You are not saying goodbye.”

A sad smile hinted at his mouth.

“I think we both know I am...” He lowered his head to mine. “You gave me such a gift, drágám. People don’t realize time with those they love is the most meaningful thing in the world. No money or riches could ever match it. I should have been dead the night of Samhain. But your love, your magic, gave me another chance. Now, it is my turn to sacrifice for you.”

A noise balled up my throat, my head shaking more.

“It’s not something we can stop.” He held the side of my face tighter, running his palm over my tresses. “Please, let me go...” His voice circled my ear, his eyes penetrating mine, his mouth closed.

A small gasp came from my mouth, his hand squeezing mine, his head dipping with acknowledgment of what was happening. The payment for saving his life. I had told him all about Warwick and Scorpion. He seemed to realize the bond that was there. What we shared.

“Look at me, my girl.” He forced me to look at his features. “There is no question I’d give my life for yours. It’s not even a choice.”

“N-no.” I sobbed, my head wagging.

“I love you so much. You are a daughter to me. I would do anything for you.” He held me closer. “But I don’t belong here. I don’t want to be here without her... to live a life without Ling.”

“But—”

He hushed me, his pitiful expression forcing a sob from my gut.

“The only thing I hate is what this will do to you and having to leave my people. But I know they will be in good hands. You are a natural-born leader, Brexley.” His eyes pierced mine as if he was trying to convey more. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I love you so much. But please know you are doing me a favor. I want this. I’m not meant for this world anymore.” He tucked hair behind my ear. “All I can hope is I did enough with my time here, made enough difference. Now, it’s for you to finish it.”