Blind Kiss(6)

The song he chose for Joey’s performance and mine was a “Wicked Games” cover. It was evocative and perfectly suited for the choreography. We had gotten the routine down pretty well except for the lifts, which wasn’t Joey’s strong suit. He was a graceful dancer, long and lean, but he liked to do solo work more than partner work. He wasn’t into girls, which shouldn’t have mattered, but it did to him. He’d never have a career in dance as long as he appeared physically repulsed by women. Most of the gay partners I’d had understood that acting was a part of dancing, unlike Joey.

Doug was sitting in the audience while we rehearsed onstage. “Do the second lift again,” he said. “Your line looks off, Joe.”

Joey had a crush on him, but I think Doug was straight, which made Joey extra sensitive to his remarks.

“My line?” Joey pointed to his chest.

“Yes,” Doug confirmed.

“That’s a hard lift and Penny wasn’t holding it.”

“Excuse me?”

“You feel heavier to me,” he said. “You feel shaky.”

I looked at Doug. “I’m five-foot-six and a hundred and thirteen pounds—and Joey thinks I’m too heavy for this lift?”

Doug shook his head. “Joey, you’re just off today, man.”

Joey crossed his arms, huffed, and then stormed offstage.

Doug and I were silent for a moment, until he started to cue up the music for my solo piece. “Doug, do you mind if we call it? I need to let my feet rest. I’m taking the night off from ballet, too.”

“Sure, Penny. You danced beautifully today. You were holding the pose with strength. You don’t need to be concerned about your weight.”

“Thanks, Teach.” I smiled before skipping back to the locker room.





3. Fourteen Years Ago


PENNY

While making my way to the library, I decided to stroll through the psychology building to kill time. I hated the library; everything was too quiet and static, though it was easier to study there than at home. As I passed through the entryway to Clark Hall, I ran into Ling, a psych major I knew, pinning fliers to a bulletin board. I caught the words BLIND KISS printed in big block letters.

“Hey, Penny!” she called out. “We’re offering a twenty-dollar Java Hut gift card for this one.” She knew I was down to participate in most psych studies if I could get free coffee or a lunch out of it.

I looked at the flier and back at her. She didn’t smile at all; she was all business. “I don’t know. ‘Blind Kiss?’ Sounds suspicious.”

I felt someone come up behind me. I turned to see another girl reading the flier intently. “You have to kiss someone you’ve never seen or met with a blindfold on? That’s crazy. I would never do that. What if you get a total dog?” She rolled her eyes and walked away.

I didn’t think I wanted to kiss anyone blindfolded, even if I was getting free coffee out of it.

“Come on, Penny, it’s for our senior project. We already have five volunteers. We just need five more . . . girls.” She said the last word under her breath.

I laughed. “So you got five guys to agree but haven’t been able to get one girl to do it? Shocker.”

She leaned in close. “Look, I’m not supposed to tell you this, but I would make out with any of the dudes who signed up. They’re all hot. I swear.” Somehow I found that hard to believe. “Take a walk with me,” she said. “I have to put up the rest of these fliers.”

Ling wasn’t the friendliest but I admired her fortitude. She was basically the only girl I knew who wasn’t in dance. I also liked her style; on that particular day, she wore combat boots with a floral-print dress.

“Say I do agree. What’s going to happen?”

Her eyes lit up. “You’re gonna do it? I’m so —”

“Hold on—” I put my hand up. “Just tell me about it.”

We were walking through Clark, trying to dodge people as classes let out. Ling was small, but she had a formidable presence. “Out of my way!” she snapped as she zipped through the crowd. “Penny, listen. All you have to do is kiss a guy. No big deal.”

It wasn’t a big deal, though it had been a while since I’d been kissed. “What exactly are you studying?”

“We’re gonna blindfold you, put you in a room together, and ask you how you feel about kissing a person you’ve never seen or met. Then we’ll pair you up and you’ll talk for a little while . . . and then you’ll kiss. Afterward, you’ll talk about how it felt and then we’ll take the blindfold off.”

“What’s the point?”

She stopped walking and faced me. “You don’t get it?”

“Not really.”

“We want to know if people can feel attracted to another person without ever seeing them. It’s about separating looks from physical attraction. Also, we’re trying to measure the power in a kiss. What you transmit, what you feel.” She giggled. “It’s very romantic.”

“Sounds terrifying. Even if everyone is good-looking.”

“Then don’t do it, Penny. Why are you following me around?”

“What about actual blind people?”