Birthday Girl(85)

Her words hit me, and I let my gaze drop. Conviction to do what you know you’re supposed to do…

And I suddenly feel like shit.

He wanted me the other night. And if it weren’t for Cole, I have no doubt we would’ve slept together.

But Cole is there, between us, and we can’t change that. Not ever. It’s wrong, and no matter how much I want him, he would only hate himself afterward. His son will always be more important than anything else.

“He’s a good man,” she says.

Then she turns to put a serving spoon in the salad and open the chips for the taco dip, and I stand there, feeling like a truck is headed for me, but I can’t move.

He is a good man.

I can’t ruin that.

I suddenly feel like I need to get out of here. Pike’s not my family, and as natural as it feels to be where he is, it’s on borrowed time.

Over the next couple of hours, I keep my distance from Pike. Teresa gives me a tour of her house, I sit with her and few others, eating and talking, although I don’t say much, and one of Dutch’s kids wrangles me into dodgeball in someone’s driveway. I help kids light sparklers, although, it’s not yet dark, and help Teresa take empty tins to the garbage and clean up soda cans and water bottles.

I’m not sure if Pike is paying me any mind, because I haven’t looked at him to check his whereabouts, but once in a while, I feel the back of my neck get warm or a tingle spread up my spine.

“Oh, hey, Jordan,” someone says, hopping over my legs, about to trip. “Didn’t see you there.”

He laughs, and I look over from where I lay on the grass to see Carter Hewitt smiling over his shoulder at me. Another guy and girl stand around him, but I don’t remember their names even though we all graduated together.

Carter and I were supposed to go tubing today, but he cancelled due to this block party his parents asked him to be here for. Luckily, too, because I was having a hard time talking myself into not cancelling. I didn’t want to let Pike win that argument, but he was right. Tubing is an excuse to get drunk, and I wasn’t in the mood.

I sit up and dust the grass off my arms that I was using for a pillow to watch the stars start to come out. “Hey, what are you guys doing?” I ask.

“Anything but this.” He sighs. “There’s a shitload of people at the A&W. Wanna come? I’ll buy you a float.”

I chuckle under my breath and stand up. That actually sounds really good.

“I haven’t been there in so long,” I remark. “Why not? Let me just tell my ride.”

He and his friends head to their cars up the street, and I jog over to the lawn chairs full of guys in the center of the road. Pike sits with his back to me, while Dutch lounges next to him with his wife on his lap, and a few others around the circle I recognize from Pike’s poker games.

“Hey,” I say, coming up to Pike’s side. “Some friends are heading to the A&W. Root beer floats and that. They invited me to come.”

I’m not asking permission, but it kind of comes out like that.

He doesn’t look at me, just tips up his bottle of beer and takes a sip. “Root beer float?” he repeats sternly. “What are you…five?”

Jerk.

“Noooooo,” I say, “but that’s how you like to treat me sometimes.”

Dutch laughs quietly next to him but speaks up, in my defense, “Hey, I still love floats, man.”

I roll my eyes at Pike and look to Teresa, smiling. “Thank you so much for having me,” I tell her. “This was nice.”

“Thanks for coming, sweetheart. And thanks for the food.”

“How you getting home?” Pike interjects, still avoiding my eyes.

“I’ll bring her.”

I look over to see Carter stepping up next to us, and Pike turns his head just a hair to see him before turning away again.

I lift the corner of my mouth in a little smirk and bend down, speaking a few inches from his ear. “Do I have a curfew?”

Dutch snorts, and I see a little snarl flare on Pike’s mouth before it disappears.

“Have fun,” he says tightly.

I stand up again and turn, following Carter to his truck as amusement lightens my mood again.

Pike is jealous.

And while I don’t want to be thinking about him, I really like knowing he’s trying not to think about me.

How much of what he wants is he hiding or burying or trying to suppress? What does it look like when he doesn’t control himself anymore?





“Oh, my God, did you hear about Jillian?” Selena Gardner gestures to another girl, intermittently chewing on the end of a straw. “She tells Dean and Matt that one of them is the father, they go to get paternity tests, and neither one of them is the dad!” She laughs.

“Oh, my God!” The other girl’s eyes bug out. “Shit, does she even know whose it is?”

“Who cares?” Selena furrows her brow, leaning back on the car again. “I’d be more concerned about catching something other than a baby. I don’t leave the house without condoms anymore. You never know when you’re going to need them. Like really…”

Everyone laughs, and I fake a half-smile in an effort not to be awkward, but I’m sure I am, since I have barely said two words in the last ten minutes.