Big Little Lies(122)

Jane laughed. “I was thinking on the way here that a gay man would notice straightaway that I’d had a haircut.” She picked up a piece of the puzzle and found a spot for it. It felt like being at home, eating and doing a puzzle. “Sorry. I know that’s a terrible cliché.”
“Um,” said Tom.
“What?” said Jane. She looked up at him. “That’s where it goes. Look. It’s the corner of the tank. This soup is incredible. Why don’t you have it on the menu?”
“I’m not gay,” said Tom.
“Oh yes you are,” said Jane merrily. She assumed he was making a bad sort of joke.
“No,” said Tom. “No, I’m not.”
“What?”
“I know I do jigsaws and make amazing pumpkin soup, but I’m actually straight.”
“Oh!” said Jane. She could feel her face turning crimson. “I’m sorry. I thought . . . I didn’t think, I knew! How did I know? Someone told me. Madeline told me ages ago. But I remember it! She told me this whole story about how you broke up with your boyfriend and you took it really bad and you just spent hours crying and surfing . . .”
Tom grinned. “Tom O’Brien,” he said. “That’s who she was talking about.”
“Tom O’Brien, the smash-repair guy?” Tom O’Brien was big and burly with a black bushy beard. She had never even properly registered the fact that the two Toms had the same name, they were so different.
“It’s perfectly understandable,” said Tom. “It would seem more likely that Tom the barista was gay than Tom the giant smash-repairer. He’s happy now, by the way, in love with someone new.”
“Huh,” said Jane. She considered. “His receipts did smell really nice.”
Tom snorted.
“I hope I didn’t, um, offend you,” said Jane.
She hadn’t fully closed the bathroom door when she’d gotten dressed. She’d left it partly ajar, the way she would have if Tom had been a girl, so that they could keep talking. She wasn’t wearing any underwear. She had talked to him so freely. She’d always been so free with him. If she’d known he was straight she would have kept a part of herself safe. She’d let herself feel attracted to him because he was gay, so it didn’t count.
“Of course not,” said Tom.
Their eyes met. His face, so dear and familiar to her now after all these months, felt suddenly strange. He was blushing. They were both blushing. Her stomach dropped as if she were at the top of a roller coaster. Oh, calamity.
“I think that piece goes in the corner there,” said Tom.
Jane looked at the jigsaw piece and slotted it into place. She hoped the tremor in her fingers looked like clumsiness.
“You’re right,” she said.
Carol: I saw Jane having a very, shall we say, intimate conversation with one of the fathers at the trivia night. Their faces were this close, and I’m pretty sure he had his hand on her knee. I was a little shocked, to be frank.
Gabrielle: It wasn’t a school dad. It was just Tom! The barista! And he’s gay!

Chapter 69: Half an Hour Before the Trivia Night
69.

Half an Hour Before the Trivia Night
You look so beautiful, Mummy,” said Josh.
He stood at the bedroom door, staring at Celeste. She was wearing a sleeveless black dress, long white gloves, and the pearl necklace Perry had bought for her in Switzerland. Celeste had even put her hair up in a passable Audrey Hepburn–style beehive bun and had just that moment found a vintage diamond comb. She looked pretty nice. Madeline would be pleased with her.
“Thank you, Joshie,” said Celeste, more touched than she could remember ever being from a compliment. “Give me a cuddle.”
He ran to her, and she sat on the end of the bed and let him snuggle into her. He’d never been as snuggly as Max, so when he needed a hug she made sure to take her time. She pressed her lips to his hair. She’d taken more painkillers, even though she wasn’t sure if she really needed them, and was feeling detached and floaty.
“Mummy,” said Josh.
“Hmmm?”
“I need to tell you a secret.”
“Hmmmm. What’s that?” She closed her eyes and hugged him closer.
“I don’t want to tell you,” said Josh.
“You don’t have to tell me,” said Celeste dreamily.
“But it makes me feel sad,” said Josh.
“What makes you feel sad?” Celeste lifted her head and made herself focus.
“OK, so Max isn’t hurting Amabella anymore,” said Josh. “But then, yesterday, he pushed Skye down the stairs near the library again, and I said he shouldn’t do that, and we had a big fight because I said I was going to tell.”