Big Easy Temptation (The Perfect Gentlemen #3)(76)

Holland frowned. “Why would they have waited so long to make their move?”

Again, he had no idea. “It’s possible Frank Hayes promised the Russians something when Zack became president, so they’ve bided their time. But the old man has dementia now, so if they’re waiting for him to strong-arm Zack into something, they’re doomed to disappointment. He mostly shuffles around the residence and hums a lot. Sometimes he thinks it’s the sixties again. Zack tried finding a memory care facility for him, but he got so violent the press reported on it. He’s calm when he knows Zack’s close by. Hopefully, if we figure out why they killed my father, we’ll figure out what they want and we’ll stop them. My father must have known something. That’s why they silenced him. I need to find his old aide-de-camp, Peter Morgan. He’s the key.”

“And naturally he’s off the grid and his whereabouts are unknown.”

“We’ll find him. His family was from New Orleans. I’ll stay up for a bit and do a little research. You should get some sleep,” Dax murmured, wishing he could take her in his arms.

It had been a rough day for her. When she’d opened the door earlier, the sight of her tears had kicked him in the gut. Holland was always strong, and the idea that seeing him again had undone her, even temporarily, made him feel about two feet tall.

“Fine.” She turned and started to walk away. When she reached the hall to her bedroom, she stopped, her spine ramrod straight, head held high. She didn’t face him. “Did you ever love her?”

His heart clenched for a second. Easiest answer he’d given her all day. “No.”

“That makes it worse, Dax.” She walked away and closed the door quietly.

His heart sank. He’d lashed out and made that stupid-ass mistake when he’d been angry and in pain. It had affected them deeply, but then they’d both screwed up. She should have trusted him with the truth. She had to have known he’d never put his mother and sister in danger. That he’d move heaven and earth to keep Holland safe.

Still, someone had to give in, and his mistake had been far worse. He’d make the first gesture. Maybe he could finally win her once and for all. This was his first night back in her life and he was already sleeping on her couch. He remembered where that had led the last time.

And she’d called him Dax.

He sat down in front of his computer and started his search, more hopeful than he’d been in years.


*

Holland pressed the button on the coffeemaker and sighed as she looked around her kitchen. Her houseguest was far too used to a maid apparently. Or having a whole boat of underlings eager to curry favor and clean up after the boss. She knew he’d been on leave for a while, and it seemed to have played hell with his normal cleanliness.

The half-empty pizza box still sat out on the bar. The wine bottle was corked but his whiskey sat open, tempting her. The only thing he’d cleaned up was the couch. She saw no sign that he’d slept there at all. She’d glanced into the hall closet and noted he’d neatly folded and stacked his sheets, along with the crappiest blanket and pillow she owned. This morning she felt vaguely guilty for what must have been an uncomfortable night.

Around her, the scene looked as if she’d enjoyed a nice date the night before. Or a work-related evening. It certainly hadn’t been a date. Papers and pictures from the case files littered her dining room table. His laptop still sat there and she wondered how late he’d stayed up.

She tried not to think about the fact that she’d slept well for once. And dreamed about him. It wasn’t like she didn’t do that often. It was simply that this time the dream hadn’t morphed into something terrible. This time, he’d held her and made love to her and begged her forgiveness. His hands had moved over her body, offering repentance with every hungry stroke.

Nope. She wasn’t going to think about that.

She poured herself a cup of coffee and wondered how long he’d been in the shower. She could hear it running in the guest bathroom. He was in the bathroom—naked. Had his body changed? His heart? What had happened during the years they’d spent apart? She’d studied him the night before and beyond the change in his hair length, she’d seen a few small lines around his eyes that betrayed the three years that had passed.

She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror on the wall of her living room. What did Dax see? Had she changed in the three years since she’d pushed him away? She saw a woman dressed in pajama bottoms and a T-shirt that covered her properly. No more sexy things for Holland. She’d thrown them all out.

She’d also thrown out so much of her sexuality the minute she’d lost Dax. Was that why it hadn’t worked with any other man? Had she been part of the problem because she lacked some sensual quality? Or was she a sad sack who had given her heart once and her body had followed?

When Dax touched her the night before, her skin had come alive again. She hadn’t felt as if she’d truly been living for three long years.

The shower turned off and she could picture him stepping out, his body glistening with moisture. Once, she’d loved to shower with him. Silly thing. She’d been with the man for such a short time and yet they’d made their own rituals, which she missed to this day. She used to hop in the shower to get ready for work and Dax would inevitably follow. Often they stayed there entwined until the water went cold.