Big Easy Temptation (The Perfect Gentlemen #3)(24)

He would have eaten more if it kept her talking to him. “So what was the special occasion that night? You made gumbo and pie. Did I interrupt something?”

“No, not at all. I was experimenting.” She huffed a little and set her wineglass down. “That’s a lie. I made it for you. I remembered how much you love chess pie and the fact that you can’t get it outside of the south. I wanted to impress you.”

He wanted to reach out and pull her into his lap, to cuddle her and thank her properly. He settled for a smile. “Consider me impressed, sweetheart. It was amazing. I haven’t had anyone give a damn about me in so long I think I’ve forgotten what it felt like.”

“I can hardly imagine that’s true. You’re Captain Awesome.”

He rolled his eyes. “Apparently the men call me that. I’m sure it’s because I turn a blind eye to some of the stupid stuff they do. It can be hard to be stuck on a ship for months at a time. If they want to start a broom hockey league when they’re off duty, who am I to stop them? No, I was talking about women, Holland. It’s been a long time since a woman cooked for me. I think it was my college girlfriend. And she majored in ramen noodles, so I’m not sure that counts.” There was something deeply intimate about a woman cooking a meal. There was something special because it hadn’t been any woman. It had been Holland.

“How can that be true?” She shook her head as she stared at him, as though trying to figure him out. “You have women chasing after you constantly.”

She assumed so many things about him. He could clear up a few misconceptions. “They chase after me a lot, but most women aren’t actually interested in me. They like being seen with me. If they’re into politics and power, they’re hoping to get close to Zack or Roman. If they want money and glitz, then Gabe or Mad. They want me to take them out and show them off so they’ll get their pictures in the tabloids. They don’t know the real me and they don’t want to. They certainly couldn’t care less that I love gumbo and chess pie.”

“I hadn’t thought about it that way,” she mused. “That sounds like a lonely way to live.”

“It’s starting to feel that way.” When he was younger, he hadn’t been looking for anything serious. Good-time girls had seemed like the perfect solution. He’d just wanted to have fun and hang with his friends. Then Zack had gotten married and the things he’d once sought seemed pointless. “Hell, most of the men under me are married with children. At some point the playboy thing becomes less a way of life and more like a joke.”

“You could get married tomorrow if you wanted to.”

“I don’t want to just get married. I want to be in love. Everyone looks at marriage like it’s the prize to be had. It should be the inevitable outcome of the real prize.”

“Being in love?”

“Loving a woman so much that I know I won’t ever want another one the way I want her. Knowing she completes me in some inexplicable way and I do the same for her. Marriage, children, the house in the suburbs, they don’t mean a damn thing without that foundation.”

She sat up suddenly and wiped a hand across her eyes. “I must be allergic to something. I’m going to visit the ladies’ room, Captain. I’ll be right back.”

She picked up her purse and scurried off like a scared little rabbit. So he’d gotten to her with the truth. He called over the waiter and took care of the bill.

What he hadn’t told her was that the whole time he’d been on his last deployment, he’d thought about her. There hadn’t been some nameless, faceless wife who would magically round out his world. He’d pictured Holland. He knew what he wanted and it wasn’t some sweet thing who would look at him like he was the king of the world because every now and then he remembered to bring her flowers or help with the dishes. No, he wanted a woman who would chew his ass out when he forgot. He wanted a woman who demanded respect, who earned it with her smarts and quick wit and passion.

He wanted Holland.

He damn sure intended his marriage to be stronger and have more substance than his parents’. Maybe he was being naive, but he intended to get it right with Holland. Starting now.

Dax stood, refusing to waste any opportunity. If he had any chance of a future with Holland, he would grab it every single time.

He strode into the hallway that led to the restrooms. Antoine’s was larger than it looked and it could be a bit labyrinthine to the casual diner, but despite the cool, dark interior, he knew exactly where he was going.

Outside it would be twilight, the air hot and muggy, but here he could feel the air conditioner over his skin. It did nothing to cool him down.

She emerged from the bathroom as he approached. Her eyes widened when she caught sight of him, but she settled back into her calm and collected persona. “Are you ready to go?”

So polite. He wanted to get past that genteel surface and find the passionate woman he knew lay underneath. “I’m ready for a lot of things, Holland. Most of all, I’m ready to finish what we started all those years ago.”

She backed up, her body hitting the wall behind her. “What are you talking about?”

Oh, she knew exactly what he was talking about, but he could make it clear to her. “I never got to finish that kiss. My father interrupted us.”