Best Man with Benefits (Wedding Dare, #4, McCade Brothers, #3)(32)
Heat seared her cheeks as she remembered watching her reflection in the mirror yesterday while he’d turned her body into an instrument of pleasure. Unfortunately, one amazing afternoon didn’t negate a lifetime of insecurities. And they were her insecurities, dang it. She might have to live with them but she sure as heck didn’t have to take them out and pass them around for his inspection.
She opened her mouth to tell him so, but frustration had something much more raw and painful spilling out. “Have you ever, even once in your whole, charmed, perfect life, wished to be invisible, because if you weren’t invisible, you were a walking joke—a target for other peoples’ insensitivity or flat-out meanness?” To her mortification, her voice rose precariously and her eyes started to burn. “You’ve had it so…effing…easy. Do you know what it’s like to stand there like an idiot while your ninth-grade gym teacher—your male gym teacher—says in front of the whole class that you ought to get a sports bra so you can, and I quote, ‘keep your chest under control’? Oh, and by the way, you’re already wearing two sports bras at your mother’s insistence. Do you know what it’s like to have Jeremy Needleman and his band of fools hum that godforsaken “Baby Got Back” song every time your algebra teacher calls you to the blackboard to solve an equation, and then to eventually realize her solution is to not call on you anymore? Of course you don’t, Mr. Popular. Believe me, it doesn’t make you feel clever or sexy. It makes you feel like a freak. It makes you wish you could disappear.”
“I’m glad you didn’t disappear,” he said quietly, and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Did you tell Colt? I can’t believe he didn’t teach a few people the meaning of the term ‘harassment.’”
She puffed out a breath and consciously relaxed her stiff shoulders. “Colt and I are eight years apart,” she reminded him. Thankfully, her voice sounded reasonably normal. “He was long gone by the time I went to high school, and I doubt the army would have given him a pass to come home and deal with sleazy Jeremy Needleman for me.”
“Want me to hunt Needleman down and stomp on his balls for you? I’m happy to do it.”
An image of tall, imposing Logan confronting skinny, freckle-faced, and completely unsuspecting Jeremy—who probably didn’t look anything like that anymore—made her smile. “Thanks, but no. Wherever he is today, I like to think he’s already sorry for being such a jerk in school.”
“With a name like Needleman, I guarantee he’s sorry. I’m sorry you had to put up with little pricks like him, and *s like your gym teacher, and do-nothings like your algebra teacher. And you’re right. I don’t know what it’s like to endure that kind of treatment. Not because I’m some kind of Mr. Perfect and nobody’s ever f*cked with me, but I was always surrounded by my brothers, Trevor and Michael. Always,” he repeated and raised his eyes heavenward. “Whether I wanted them around or not. Throw shit at one of us, get it back from all three. Consequently, I never had to put up with more than a normal amount of shit. But I don’t need to have experienced the shit you went through to understand it left scars.”
“Thank you for understanding.” Too bad now that he understood, he had to realize what a broken wing she was.
“The thing is, Sophie, you’re not the same girl you were in high school. You’re so far beyond that girl the rest of us can’t even see her. We see a clever, sexy woman. A woman I would have appreciated waking up next to, after everything we shared last night. Oh, and just for future reference, I don’t expect a stand-up routine first thing in the morning.”
With that, he resumed climbing the last few feet to the top.
Wait…what? Future reference? Did he really say future reference? She huffed and puffed after him. “Just for…future reference…what do you expect?”
“This may come as a shock, but when I let a clever, sexy woman show me the proper use for my favorite tie, about the only expectation I have is that she not sneak off in the middle of the night. Other than that, I’m wide open. With me, you can do anything you want, and say anything you want. Or you can say nothing, because while I’m a big fan of bold, aggressive Sophie, I like your quiet side, too. I could use more reflection in my life these days.”
He looked at her then, and must have read something dubious in her expression, because he reached down, took her hand, and hauled her up next to him. Only after she’d caught her breath did she dare glance around, and realize he’d lifted her the last couple feet to the summit. She took in the panoramic view of the mountain, the sky—she swallowed loudly—the tiny, ant-like people wandering the path far, far below.
“You look like you’re about to tip your head back and yell, ‘I’m king of the world,’ at the top of your lungs.”
She smiled and shook her head. “Nope. Not going to happen. I’m the quiet girl, remember?”
“I remember you making some not-so-quiet sounds last night.”
Do not blush. Don’t. But it was no use. Heat climbed into her cheeks.
“Sorry. I couldn’t resist.” But he didn’t look repentant. He looked cocky and happy. “Do you know why I love climbing?”
“Because you have a death wish?”
The comment earned her a grin and a head shake. “It’s a chance to escape all the demands on my time. I can shed the guy-in-charge image and relax. Reach a place where all the bullshit disappears.” He leaned back in his harness, looking completely at home fifteen feet up, and stared off into the distance. “I feel the same way when I’m with you.”