Best Friends Don't Kiss(16)

For shame, you really got after it last night.

This is exactly why I try to avoid alcohol. The bitch has never treated me right.

I’m not sure how much alcohol I consumed last night, but I know after the beer I had at Luke’s apartment, I drank at least three strawberry daiquiris at the bar.

Ew. Strawberry. The mere thought of it makes my stomach curdle like days’ old milk. Honestly, the daiquiris are almost always a terrible choice, but they’re a Harry’s Halloween tradition.

I swallow past the nausea threatening to creep up my throat, brush the awful taste out of my mouth with my toothbrush and a whole lot of toothpaste, and take a quick shower to wash the remnants of booze off my body and face.

Once I’m dressed in yoga pants and my coziest cream sweater, I head into the kitchen to make some coffee and find sustenance I can eat without wanting to puke.

But I only get halfway into my food search when my phone chimes with several texts in my group chat with Claire and Desi.



Claire: How ya feeling, honey? You had quite the night.



Desi: Oh yeah. Pretty sure you ran through a full Fantana set.



Huh?



Me: What are you talking about?



Desi: You were the karaoke queen last night. You gave your college performance days a run for their money.



Claire: Personally, I think she’s even better now. All that life experience gives your performance depth.



Me: Guys, what are you talking about?



Desi: I can’t believe you don’t remember doing karaoke.



Claire: At least Luke didn’t have to punch someone out last night LOL.



Desi: That’s because Luke is looking HOT AF these days, and that guy knew not to mess with him.



Me: What guy? There was a guy?



Why don’t I remember any of this?

Again, this is exactly why I do not like drinking.

Shit always ends badly.

The fear of what could’ve been ruined for Luke had I forced him to stand up for me physically jolts me. His job as a pilot. The ongoing interview process with NASA. Holy hell, it could’ve ruined everything he’s worked so hard for!

Instantly, guilt and anxiety form a thick knot in my throat.



Desi: Don’t sweat it, Ava. It was nothing.



Me: It’s not nothing! I can’t believe I put Luke in that position AGAIN. Almost getting him kicked out of Columbia was enough. If things had gotten out of hand, I could’ve made him ineligible to continue on through the candidate process with NASA!



And he’s getting close. Crazy, like he’s already had two in-person interviews with NASA, close.



Claire: Relax, friend. The guy was a total prick. Luke set him straight verbally, and that’s all that happened. No need to worry over it.



Desi: Plus, it’s not like you asked Luke to kick the guy’s ass. LOL. Pretty sure you were far too blitzed to put in that request. His decision to intervene was all his. Now, Fantana song requests to the DJ? We can definitely blame you for those.



Me: Is there anything else I missed while I was blackout drunk?



Desi: Let’s see…you asked a guy dressed up as Batman if he wanted to be your holiday boyfriend. He said yes, but then you took back the offer when you realized you prefer Marvel over Justice League. You bitched A LOT about going to your high school reunion.



Claire: And planning your high school reunion.



Desi: Oh yeah, that too. LOL. You almost called that chick Callie Camden to tell her she’s a total bitch, which I kind of wanted to see happen. But Claire thought it was a bad idea, so we stopped you from doing it. Am I missing anything, Claire?



Claire: And once you updated us on the whole “Find a Boyfriend” mission, we decided that online dating is the best route for your search.



Oh my God. That’s not happening.



Me: I’m not online dating.



Claire: That’s exactly what you said last night, but then we helped you realize it was your best option.



Desi: Yep. Otherwise, you’re going to end up in a relationship with someone like Tad.



Tad is the copy/mail guy at Claire and Desi’s office—a small marketing firm in Manhattan.

His attire consists of tie-dye, and his days off revolve around his bong.

Bottom line, I cannot bring Tad home to Vermont. Rose Lucie would probably have a stroke. Although, Aunt Poppy would get a pretty good laugh out of it…



Me: Online dating? Seriously? You guys act like my situation is dire or something.



Desi: Well, if you’re planning on going through with the whole “I’m not single” charade, you have less than two months to find yourself a boyfriend.



Claire: That isn’t a lot of time.



Me: Wow. You guys really know how to make a girl feel good.



Claire: You should be thankful your friends are willing to be honest with you.



Me: Blatantly honest. Bluntly honest. Cutthroat honesty. Oh yes, I’m forever grateful. Just thanking my lucky stars right now.