Beneath This Mask (Beneath, #1)(44)

I wanted to take my words back as soon as they escaped my lips, but I couldn’t. They needed to be said. The ice in her gaze melted into glossy tears. She blinked them back, not letting them spill. I knew what she was going to say before she spoke. Don’t, I thought. Don’t say it, Charlie. She opened her mouth, and I reinforced myself for the blow I knew was coming.

“I guess … there really is no point. We both know I’m no good for you anyway.” She opened the door like she hadn’t just ripped my heart out of my chest. “Goodbye, Simon.”

I swallowed, determined to hold it together. “You said you wouldn’t break my heart.” The words sounded like they’d been dragged over a gravel road before I ground them out.

She turned back to face me, tears streaking down her face. “No, I didn’t. I said I wouldn’t do it without shattering mine.” She dashed away the tears with the side of her hand. Her voice shook as she said, “I didn’t lie about that.” She shut the door and crossed the street without looking back. I watched, unable to comprehend what the f*ck just happened, as she fumbled with the lock and finally slipped inside the gate. She was gone.





I buried my face in Huck’s fur and let my tears soak into his rough coat as I listened to the continuous buzzing coming from the intercom. I could have written the scene before it happened. It was inevitable. I should have been better prepared for it. But I hadn’t factored in just how much it would hurt to walk away from him


When the buzzing finally stopped, I knew Simon was gone.

I sniffled back a sob, and Huck’s big brown eyes rested on me. I could only imagine how pitiful I looked.

The raw emotions were too much to handle. I didn’t want to think. Didn’t want to feel. I needed to be numb, or I might not be able to stop myself from going after him.

I was only a few blocks from Bourbon Street. So I’d go with the obvious solution: get drunk and lose myself in the crowd. Lose myself period. I was good at that. I knew I should call Yve or Delilah, but then I’d have to rehash everything that had happened tonight. And I wasn’t ready for that. So I’d go by myself. Because at the end of the day, I was the only person I could rely on anyway.

So, laissez les bon temps rouler.



I slammed shot after shot, shaking my ass on the dance floor, shoving away every guy who attempted to get close. Just like I’d shoved Simon away.

My actions were a sadly accurate metaphor for my life.

The lights were hypnotic, and my buzz was rolling into straight up hammered. I stumbled to the bar and slapped down a twenty. “Two more shots. Tequila.” The bartender didn’t even blink before taking my money and pouring the liquor.

“Lime?”

“No need.” I tossed one back and smacked the glass down on the wooden bar before wiping my hand across my mouth. I looked down at my ink-covered skin and smiled sardonically. The good-girl-falling-for-the-bad-boy stories might have happily ever afters, but you never really heard about what happened when the good guy fell for the bad girl.

Apparently this.

I lifted the other shot in a silent toast to Simon and tipped it back. He deserved better than me. If things had continued on between us, I would’ve eventually dragged him into the suspicion and contempt that surrounded the girl I was pretending not to be. I looked at the bartender and pulled out another twenty.

“Two more, please.”

Then I’d be done. I’d walk my ass home and pass out. I’d call in hung over tomorrow, and Yve would be knocking on my door and dragging me out of bed. Love that girl. The thought cued me in to the fact that I had indeed officially passed buzzed. I downed the last two shots and stumbled my way out of the bar into the mass of humanity on Bourbon. I caught glimpses of tits and ass as I made my way up the street. I spotted Jimmy on the corner. Surprisingly, a hot dog sounded delicious. I hadn’t been by to see Jimmy since shortly after Huck’s accident when I’d promised Simon I wouldn’t walk home alone anymore.

“Jimmy!” I called out as I pushed through the crowd.

“Ms. Charlie, I ain’t seen you in weeks.” Jimmy snapped his tongs in my direction. “Where you been? Where’s my boy Huck Finn? And what can I get for you this fine evenin’?”

I tried to sort his questions out in my tequila-soaked brain. “Umm … Huck’s at home. He got hit by a car … so I haven’t been walking home for a while. This guy … he didn’t think it was safe for me … by myself.” I winced at my disjointed explanation.

Jimmy narrowed his gaze at me. “You done tied one on.” It wasn’t a question. He looked around. “You by yourself tonight?”

I nodded. “It’s cool. You know I’m not far from home.” I tried hard to avoid slurring my words. I was like a drunk teenager trying to fool her parents.

“I still don’t like it.” He handed me my hotdog without me having to order. I handed him the rest of the money I had on me. He tried to refuse, but I stuffed the bills in the pocket of his apron.

“See you tomorrow, Jimmy.”

“It’s a date, Ms. Charlie.”

I wandered a few more steps before I took a bite. I chewed and swallowed. And then gagged. Bad idea. Tequila and hotdog were not going to coexist peacefully. But I didn’t want to waste it. So I kept walking, on a drunken quest to find one of those homeless pups that wandered the street to pull in money for their owners. If it was good enough for Huck…